


Did I make the right decision?

by ParalyzedCookies



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, F/M, Gay Steve Rogers, Hurt Steve Rogers, Insecure Steve Rogers, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Jealous Steve Rogers, M/M, Mafia AU, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Skinny!Steve, Tattooed Bucky Barnes, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:23:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4780454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParalyzedCookies/pseuds/ParalyzedCookies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brooklyn was not a safe place to live anymore, well not for someone like Steve Rogers anyway... Brooklyn in the last 5 years had become over run by different mafia groups which were making the streets of Brooklyn a very unsafe place for anyone who didn't know how to protect themselves or carried a weapon on them at all times, Steve could to neither of those two so  he spent almost all his time staying in his apartment which was about as safe as the streets of Brooklyn but it kept him out of trouble so he didn't complain about it and he worked from home as an illustrator so the only time he ever had to go onto the mean streets of Brooklyn was to get him food shopping once a week and somehow that was how he got into trouble with a certain mafia boss.<br/>(editing so it sucks less)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting him

Trouble seemed to find Steve somehow. Steve was walking back from the local food store, asking himself for what seemed like the millionth time why he didn’t just do his shopping online. It would be so much easier for him since he would never have to leave the house since he has no friend and if ill 360 days out of the year, also only idiots walk around the streets of Brooklyn with any confidence.

Walking back from the shop, Steve heard shouting coming from the alleyway next to the shop. Like any sane person, Steve decided to ignore it and carry on walking home. Then his stupid conscience told him to go down to see what the hell all the shouting was about and to see if anyone was in trouble. Like an idiot, Steve followed his conscience. What sane person would walk down an alleyway at 5pm in one of the roughest areas of Brooklyn? Steve had always had a death wish even from when he was a child, he would always get into fights or someone illness would come along and try and kill him, somehow, he was still alive which was a miracle. Why not test this miracle of life by walking down a dark alleyway probably going to get stabbed, at least it’d leave a cool looking scar.

The shouting had stopped when Steve started walking down the alleyway but that didn’t make him any less nervous. He carried on walking just to make sure that no one needed his help, he really did have a death wish though. Turning left in the alleyway started leading him to an exit closer to his apartment so taking the alleyways wasn’t all bad.   
Steve was thinking about what he was going to make for tea when he heard a groan coming from his left, which was another passage way. Lucky whoever is groaning was to the left since if it had been from the right Steve probably wouldn’t have heard him. Since Steve is deaf in his right ear and had broken his hearing aid a few weeks back in a fight, he didn’t have the money to buy a new one. There was another groan so Steve looked to his left to see a man sitting on the floor, back to the alleyway floor and holding his stomach.  
Walking up to the man he didn’t seem to notice so Steve crouched down and said.

“Hi, are you okay?” Which was a stupid question since the guy didn’t look like he was in a good way. The guy’s head lifted, a pair of grey eyes looked into Steve’s own blues eyes and glared. Steve stood up to put some distance between him and the stranger and started thinking maybe he should just call the ambulance and run but he couldn’t leave an injured man all on his own. As the man carried on glaring at Steve, Steve got a good look at him. His hair was shoulder length, wavy and dark brown and it kept falling in front of his eyes giving the guy an intimidating look. Steve pushed down his fear and asked again.

“Are you okay?” With this question, it seemed like the man’s glare got even more intimidating which Steve was sure couldn’t happen but he did answer in a rough Brooklyn/Russian accent.

“Do I look okay to you?” Starting to feel frustrated Steve rubbed the back of his head to keep from telling the guy to shove it and walking home, he was only trying to help the guy. Steve was debating whether to leave the guy on the ground but he then saw blood leaking through the fingers of the hand which was pressed against his stomach. Panicking Steve said.

“We need to get you to a hospital you’re bleeding!” The man just carried on glaring at Steve and said.

“I don’t do hospitals.” Making a small sound in the back of his throat Steve thought was else could he do to help this guy since he couldn’t leave him to bleed out on the floor. Steve decided that he would being the guy back to his apartment and stitch him up since Steve had enough medical supplies to open his own small hospital. Steve asked the guy if he could stand up but it didn’t seem like he was listening to Steve so Steve grabbed the man’s arm which was putting pressure on the wound and tried to pull him up which didn’t work. Steve was 90 pounds soaking wet he had no chance of being able to pull this man up but it did get the guys attention again and asked.

“What are you trying to do?” Steve blushed due to embarrassment replying

“I can’t leave you out to bleed to death on the streets so I’m going to bring you back to my apartment so I can stich you up myself since you say the hospital is not an option.” The guy chuckled and asked.

“Do you do this for everyone you meet on the streets?” Dropping the guys arm, Steve huffed and said.

“If you don’t want my help I’ll just leave you to bleed here, I don’t care” The man started to slowly push himself up using the alley wall to keep him balanced, once he was standing up but still leaning against the wall he said.

“No, I’m up now. Lead the way.” Grabbing the man’s good arm again Steve started to pull him towards Steve’s apartment.

It took a couple of minutes and a lot of concerned stares from the public to get to Steve’s apartment. The man was swaying on his feet and Steve knew it wasn’t long before the guy was going to collapse so Steve started to hurry even if it did put more of a strain on his lungs. When Steve finally got to his apartment which was on the third floor he leant the guy against the wall and opened his door, putting his shopping to the side. Steve then grabbed the guys arm again and pulled him into the apartment trying to be as gentle as possible. Once Steve put the guy in front of his beat-up sofa he said.

“You sit down and get comfy whilst I get the supplies I’m going to need to stitch that wound up but don’t fall asleep but you are losing blood.” Steve then shut his front door and locked it then he walked into his bathroom and collected the essentials he would need to stitch the guy up. Steve also grabbed one of his winter blankets from his bed to put over the man since the man was probably cold and in shock.

After getting everything Steve came back to the man whose eyes where blinking slowly and was just about to drift asleep. First Steve asked the guy if he would be able to take off his coat and t-shirt to which the guy replied.

“Are you trying to take advantage of me?” Blushing Steve denied it and said.

“I can’t get to your wound if your shirt and coat are still on, I would never take advantage of anyone!” The guy chuckled and took both garments off and threw them on the floor, so he wouldn’t get cold Steve then put the blanket over his shoulders and hoped that no blood got onto it since Steve had to use the blanket himself. Steve then passed the guy a bottle of water and two painkillers. The man eyes the pills suspiciously, Steve said.

“They are only painkillers, I don’t want to drug you or anything, but if you don’t want to take them I won’t force you it will just make this journey easier for you.” The guy that the pills where only painkillers and the man popped both pills into his mouth and drank half a bottle of water to wash them down. After Steve made sure that the guy was comfy he moved the guys hand from the wound to see a deep stab wound which was next to his right hip bone. Steve wasn’t the biggest fan of blood and he was hoping that it would have only been a small gash which he could fix with butterfly stitches but the man needed proper stiches for this one. Steve asked.

“Would you be able to lay down for me? It’ll make it a lot easier for me.” The man nodded and slowly laid on the sofa, grunting when the stab wound was pulled causing more blood to rush from the wound, quickly Steve put a towel underneath the guy and over the sofa so blood wouldn’t get onto it. Steve set up all his supplies, washing his hands with some antibacterial soap and putting on a pair of white gloves, his mother had taught him how to treat a wound properly before her death she had been a nurse. The man was looking up at his water damaged ceiling and said.

“Get on with it then.” Nodding, Steve got out of antibacterial wipe and started cleaning the wound as best as he could, also the wipe had a slight numbing agent in it so it would hurt just a little less for the guy when Steve started stitching him up. Steve said to him.  
“This is probably going to hurt really bad, so when you are thinking about punching me in the face just remember you said you didn’t want to go to the hospital.” The guy nodded and closed his eyes, Steve saw him also clench his jaw. Steve worked as cautiously as he could since he didn’t want to hurt the man any more than he already was. After the first few stitches Steve said.

“My name is Steve by the way, what’s yours?” By doing this Steve hoped that he was able to take the guys attention away from the pain by answering simple questions. The guy gritted his teeth but still answered.

“-Bucky.” Steve tried to ask some more questions but Bucky didn’t answer any more of them so Steve carried on stitching the man up in silence and only disturbed the silence when the guy would hiss to apologise. 

After stitching Bucky up Steve packed away his supplies and helped Bucky sit up when he asked to be up again. Bucky wrapped the blanket around himself and Steve watched him for a couple of seconds to make sure that he didn’t pass out before putting his supplies away and going into the kitchen. Steve grabbed a couple more bottles of water and saw at the back of the cupboard was a bottle of whiskey his mother had gotten him for his twenty-first birthday, so he also grabbed that since he thought Bucky would probably want a shot or two and Steve wasn’t going to drink it anyway he didn’t drink. He also grabbed a glass and walked back into the living room, passing the water to Bucky, Steve then showed Bucky the bottle of whiskey and said.

“You probably need this after the night you’ve been through.” Steve then passed Bucky the glass and whiskey bottle and Bucky poured himself some before shotting it down and pouring another. After Bucky had a couple of drinks of whiskey he said.

“thanks for helping me, not many people would these days.” Smiling, Steve replied.

“I’m just too nosy for my own good and you don’t have to thank me, most decent people would do the same thing.” Bucky chuckled and replied.

“Maybe, most people wouldn’t help someone like me.” Tilting his head in confusion Steve asked.

“Why wouldn’t they help you?” And the grin that came onto Bucky’s face made Steve nervous, he replied.

“You really don’t know who I am do you?” A feeling of dread them sat in Steve’s stomach and Steve thought.

‘Oh, God what have I gotten myself into now?’


	2. Not my greatest decision

Moving back a couple of steps to put some distance between him and Bucky, Steve asked.

“Who are you then?” Steve didn’t keep up with the news since it depressed him and due to his lack of friends he never got gossip either so Steve was in the dark about who this guy is, he also liked he liked to keep in his own little bubble because in Brooklyn that’s what kept you alive because if you are nosy you won’t be around long. Steve was in thought when he was knocked out of them by Bucky laughing.

“Name is James Buchanan Barnes or Bucky to friends and everyone else calls, Winter Solider.” Steve knew that name, he’d heard it being whispered in stores, then a red light went off in Steve’s head he’d read that name in a newspaper once… The Winter solider was the boss for a mafia group called; The Avengers they had grown to be the biggest mafia group in Brooklyn when they had declared war on Hydra, Bucky was one of the reasons that Brooklyn had become even worse to live in, in the past five years. Steve had patched up a mafia boss! Oh, God he had fucked up bad this time. Steve decided that he needed to get out his apartment quick so he rushed away from Bucky put on an old pair of trainers, left his apartment and stepped into the frigid cold of a November night in Brooklyn.

One Steve was out the apartment he instantly regretted it, it was too cold to be out on a Brooklyn winter night without at least two coats on. Steve rubbed his arms as he walked down the streets getting very odd looks from passer-by’s wondering why a 5’5’’, skin and bone man was walking down the streets without a coat on at least. Steve felt the cold start to make his bones rattle so he decided that he would just hide in the closest coffee shop until it closed and hopefully Bucky would be gone.

Four blocks away from his apartment was a cheap coffee shop, which was so outdated it probably hadn’t be renovated since it first opened but it would do for keeping Steve warm and in a public place for if Bucky did come looking for him. When Steve sat down at one of the tables he could see out the corner of his eye the barista looking at him with concern, Steve couldn’t blame him if someone had walked into a place he worked not wearing a coat in a Brooklyn winter he would also be concerned.

Putting his head on the table Steve had to ask himself why did trouble have to follow him even when he was doing a good deed? Really life was cruel towards Steven Rogers. Maybe he should try what everyone else does in Brooklyn and ignore someone in need to get on with their own lives, then Steve debated whether it was best just to run away and hide in New York so he could get away from Brooklyn, but even thinking like that hurt his heart. He couldn’t leave the place he’d lived all his life. Steve jumped when a mug was placed next to his head so Steve lifted his head up to see the barista smiling at him and he said.

“It seems you need something to warm you up, it’s on the house.” Steve smiled at the barista and said thank you, before staring at the wall and thinking about why life is unfair to him.  Steve could make the coffee last him an hour and by the time he’d finished it, it was 10:30pm and no one who was sane tried to walk in Brooklyn after 11pm so Steve knew that he needed to leave quickly to get back to his apartment. Thanking the barista one last time Steve walked back out into the cold night, instantly regretting again not bringing a coat with him, God he wishes he’d grabbed a coat in his panic. Steve hugged his own body and started the walk back.

Someone walking by Steve hit him square in the shoulder as he walked by and Steve went to turn around and shout at the person when he heard someone shout his name. So, Steve turned back in front and saw a woman with shoulder length ginger hair standing in front of him, wearing what looked like a warm winter coat and high heels, she must be one confident women to be wearing heels in winter but seeing her in such a warm coat made Steve think about needing to get into warmth again. The women then started talked to Steve, did he know this woman?

“I’m glad I was able to find you, boss was getting worried since it’s so cold out tonight and you didn’t take a coat with you so he asked if I’d be able to find you and make sure you get home safe.” Steve started to walk past her, she was an employee for Bucky and Steve didn’t want anything else to do with that man.

“I don’t want anything to do with your boss, you’ve seen me now and you can go run back to him and tell him that I am fine just a little chilly.” The women smiled and started walking with Steve, saying.

“Sorry Steve, I have direct orders from boss to make sure that you get home safe. I’m Black Widow.” Steve rolled his eyes and thought.

 _‘That’s a stupid name, or maybe she did have children and murdered their father because she thought he was going to eat them or some shit like that, who knows with the mafia then have so many psychopaths working for them that could actually be a really reason for her name or maybe she just using the name because Black Widow spiders are known for being one of the most feared spiders.’_ Steve tried to move faster but when he did he felt his lungs start to tighten so he slowed back down to a normal walking pace. Steve sighed and said.

“This cold is going to kill me anyway so tell your boss that there is no need to worry about me.” Black Window just chuckled and carried on walking with him, they stayed in silence until Steve got back to his apartment. Once back Black Widow nodded her head and said.

“well, it was nice meeting you Steve, boss should be in contact with you soon.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on and told Black Widow.

“Tell him not to bother seeing me again, I’ve already helped him so he doesn’t need to see my anymore.” But Black Widow just smiled and patted his shoulder whilst walking away, Steve looked back for a moment, worried about letting a woman walk at night in Brooklyn but she is a member of a mafia group she could probably kill most people with her bare hands so Steve let himself into his house, locking his door so no one could get into his house.

Once that door was locked a harsh cough rattled Steve’s chest, yes, he was definitely at least going to have a chest infection. Walking into the kitchen Steve made himself a cup of green tea and whilst the kettle was boiling he took his medication with a glass of water, he also collected his got water bottle to keep him warm through the night because he was going to need it. After making his tea and filling his hot water bottle Steve decided to go straight to bed because this was probably going to be his last night of good sleep for a little while. Once Steve got into bed he was almost instantly asleep leaving his half drunken tea on the floor next to his bed.

Banging on the door is what woke Steve up the first time but just even opening his eyes made Steve want to vomit so he decided that whoever was at the door wasn’t that important and decided to go back to bed because everything hurt and he wanted to vomit.

The second-time Steve woke up is because it felt like someone was watching him and it made his skin crawl, when he opened his eyes and made eye contact with a pair of grey eyes, Steve is not ashamed to say that he screamed which made him go into a coughing fit due to now having a sore throat. As Steve was coughing, Bucky’s hand went to Steve’s back and started to rub it and once Steve had stopped coughing Bucky asked.

“Are you okay?” Steve wanted to roll his eyes and tell Bucky does he look okay? But instead Steve just glared at him and said.

“Piss off, I want to die on my own.” This just made Bucky chuckle smile which made Steve glare ever harder at Bucky because Steve wasn’t lying he just wanted to wait for this cold to leave on his own, he didn’t want some murderer helping him. Bucky said whilst smiling.

“I can’t leave you alone whilst you are ill that would be cruel.” Steve let his head hit his pillow and he looked up at his water damaged ceiling and said to Bucky.

“You can and you will, I don’t want anything to do with you or your mafia group. So, leave now.” Bucky sighed and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair and said.

“I’m not a bad person you know, I may be the leader of SHIELD but that doesn’t make me evil. You don’t even know how I run SHIELD you are just making assumptions from all the headlines you’ve read and movies you’ve watched.” Steve closed his eyes hoping if he kept his eyes closed Bucky would finally get the message and leave but Bucky didn’t seem to be leaving any time soon so Steve sighed and said.

“Sure, you say that because you are the damn leader of a mafia which had killed innocent people, so please go to the families of the innocent people you’ve killed and tell them what you’ve just told me because they will care a lot more than I do or ever will.” Even with his eyes closed Steve could feel Bucky glaring at him and he said with frustration in his tone.

“I just wanted to say thank you for patching me up but since you’re being an ignorant dick I won’t.” Steve knew that mouthing off to a mafia boss like he just had was asking for a death wish but really Steve didn’t want to talk to this man anymore he’d caused so much suffering that Steve didn’t want anything to do with him so, Steve said hoping that it will get Bucky to leave finally.

“You’re welcome, now please leave I’m tired and want to get back to sleep.” Steve heard Bucky sigh and footsteps walking away from his bed, Steve sighed happily letting himself relax again. Maybe Bucky had finally got the message through his thick skull that Steve didn’t want anything to do with Bucky or SHIELD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :D  
> Yet another chapter, I know I said I'd be updating weekly but I just really like this fic so I've been writing a lot for it and sometimes I get ideas and I need to write it down straight away or I'll forget about it  
> Steve's very angry in this chapter but can you really blame him, I would be as well, i don't know if he;s angrier at himself or Bucky tbh ahha  
> Well I hope you enjoy anyways  
> Also sorry for any spelling mistakes and stuff being dyslexic sucks D:  
> Also just so ya'll know I'm British so please don't get angry when everything had a u in it :3


	3. Sick

A couple hours later Steve woke up again and he felt worse than when he’d last gone to sleep, his stomach was churning and cramped which meant that he needed to get to the bathroom quick because he was going to vomit.  Steve could make it to the bathroom to vomit and after everything in his stomach had been emptied into the toilet he laid his head on the cold porcelain, letting it cool down his overheated body but soon his body was shaking like he was in the middle of the arctic. So, he pulled himself up from the bathroom floor getting his blankets, pillow and phone from his bed and side cabinet before walking back into the bathroom since Steve knew he was at some point going to vomit again and he wanted to be as close to the toilet as he could.

Once Steve had made his bed in the bathroom, he slept for five minutes before the churning started again in his stomach and his head was in the toilet being sick again, as Steve was being sick someone started to knock on his door and Steve was happily going to ignore it and fall asleep with his head laying on the toilet seat but then someone was shouting his name. It was that ginger women from last night, what was her name? Black Werewolf, no that wasn’t it… Black Spider? Oh. that was it Black Widow. The reason Steve didn’t ignore the door was because she threatened to kick down the door and Steve couldn’t afford to buy a new door so he pushed himself up from the bathroom floor and staggered to the front door, opening it and leaning against the side of the door.

As the cold air of a Brooklyn winter day his Steve’s fragile body he shivered which Steve was sure also made his bones rattle, he didn’t feel the cold for long because Black Widow was pushing Steve into the house and shutting the door behind her. Steve blinked a her and took in her appearance, she was wearing; a thin leather jacket with a red shirt underneath, a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of black combat boots. Steve wondered how she wasn’t freezing because that was not suitable clothing for a Brooklyn winter. As the Black Widow made herself comfy on Steve’s worn in two-seated sofa Steve asked.

“What are you doing here? Can I help you?” Black Widow just looked at him which made Steve move in discomfort because he could feel that she was judging his appearance, he must look an absolute state he hadn’t been able to look at himself in the bathroom mirror when Black Widow had knocked because he’d been too scared about his door, then Black Widow said.

“You’re sick.” Steve rolled his eyes and gave Black Widow a look which clearly said ‘no shit, Sherlock’. Steve felt himself shiver so he walked back into the bathroom and grabbed his thickest blanket, wrapped it around himself and walk back into the living room, sitting on the free side of the sofa, he only had one sofa in his room since he lived on his own and no one ever visited him so there was never a need for an extra sofa but Steve now wished that he had invested in another because being so close to Black Widow was very uncomfortable for him Black Widow then said.

“Boss will be pissed to know that you’ve gotten ill.” Steve sighed looking up at his ceiling again this seemed like it was going to become a habit for him and he said.

“My health has nothing to do with your boss, I bet you are only here because he told you to come check on me so you can go back and tell him that everything is okay with me.” Steve looked at Black Widow when she heard her chuckle which was again very uncomfortable for Steve because her eyes never changed to show that she was amused she then said.

“You know of became boss’s business when you helped him, you caught his attention and when someone has caught his attention it is hard for him not to keep on being interested in you, so you are just going to have to put up with him and us until he gets bored of you.” Steve rubbed his face and sighed, saying.

“I was only helping because I thought he was an innocent civilian who was in pain and I couldn’t leave them out because then it would have been my fault if they died, I didn’t know the person I helped was going to be a boss of the mafia.” Black Widow was about to reply to what Steve said but a series of coughs started so Steve had to lean over and cover his mouth with his hand.

When the coughing fit finally ended Steve looked up with teary eyes to see that Black Widow was no longer sitting on the sofa, but he didn’t have the energy to move right now. Maybe she would kill him and put him out of his misery or maybe she had left him wallow in his self-pity. Neither were the case when she came out of his kitchen holding some tablets and a glass of orange juice. She probably had the cold and flu tablets Steve had bought about two years ago, but never used because when he was ill he was usually too weak to get out of bed to get to the kitchen so he usually just died in bed alone.  Black Widow shoved the tablets into one hand and the drink into the other hand of Steve’s and ordered.

“Take them.” Glaring at Black Widow Steve knocked back the tablets with a big gulp of the orange. Steve then went to say thank you to Black Widow because even though he didn’t like any of them he had been taught by his mother to be polite and say thank you when someone helped him but before he could say anything he was interrupted by Black Widow’s phone pinging, telling her that she had a message. Black Widow took out her phone from her leather jacket and read the message before looking at Steve and saying.

“well it was fun talking with you Steve but work calls.” Steve nodded, happy that finally he’d be left in peace so he could go asleep again so he said.

“Have fun with the murdered and all that fun stuff.” Black Widow chuckled again and bought out a piece of paper with a number on it.” And said.

“Ring this number if you get into any trouble, don’t worry it isn’t bosses number it’s mine.” Steve then took the piece of paper and looked over the number, Black Widow them patter Steve’s shoulder and said.

“Hope you get better soon.” Steve sighed, nodding before replying.

“Me too.” Then Black Widow was walking about his front door and once Black Widow was gone, Steve laid on the sofa and before he knew what was happening he was asleep.

When Steve woke up again, it was dark out and Steve felt even worse than when he’d last woken up. His good ear was ringing, his already fuzzy eyes seemed even fuzzier than normal, his head felt like it was being hit by a sledgehammer. He went to pull himself up so he could go get some painkillers when the room started to spin and the next thing he knows his legs are giving out on him and he’s falling to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it been a week yet???  
> I dunno...  
> But I haven't had a lot of homework this week so I was able to get this written pretty quickly tbh :D  
> Plz don't get used to that, college will soon be fucking me up the arse 
> 
> People are actually liking this fic which is crazy cause I am such a bad writer, like why would people be interested in my shitty stories when there are so many other amazing writers in the stucky fandom like plz stop
> 
> Well I hope you enjoy :3  
> & Sorry for any mistakes>w


	4. Chapter 4

Pushing himself up from the floor, Steve looked around his apartment, hoe had he ended up on the floor. Groaning as he felt the front of his head throb so he put his hand to the front of his forehead to try and stop the pounding but he fingers were getting wet so when he moved his fingers from his hairline to see his fingers covered in blood Steve may have started to panic. What had he banged his head? Steve looked to where he had been laying to see that his coffee table had a blood on it from where Steve must have banged it when he had fallen.

As Steve got up he put his blanket to his forehead to stop any more blood rolling down his forehead and he walked into his bathroom to assess the damage to grab his phone which was still on the bathroom floor. Once Steve had assessed the damage he tried to think of who he could call. He couldn’t ring Sam wince he was in Washington. After a couple of minutes thinking Steve remembered that Black Widow had given him her number, he really shouldn’t ring her because he doesn’t want anything to do with SHIELD but he had no-one else he could call and Steve could feel his chest tightening a clear sign to him that he was going to go into a panic attack. Rushing into the living room, Steve saw the piece of paper with the number on the floor where he had passed out, he grabbed it and quickly dialled the number. Walking back into the bathroom where it was cool and he sat on the tiled floor waiting for the phone to be answered.

The phone was answered on the third ring and Steve’s breathing had hitched up and his throat felt like it was closing when Black Widow answered.

“Black Widow, whoever this is better have a damn good reason to how they got my number and why they are ringing me.” Clearly, she didn’t know it was Steve which would make sense since Steve hadn’t given her his number back so he said.

“I-it’s Steve-.” Before Steve could carry on speaking Black Widow butted in saying.

“Are you okay Steve? I didn’t expect you to be ringing me so quickly.” Steve shook his head to say that no he was not okay but then he remembered that Black Widow couldn’t see him so he said.

“N-no, I don’t know what happened, when you left I must have fainted because I woke up on the floor and my head is bleeding, I don’t feel so good I think I’m having a panic attack.” When Steve said the last part, his voice went higher. Steve’s weak heart was beating faster than it should, his lungs feel like they are in a vice. Steve didn’t have many panic attacks unless they were bought on by him having an asthma attack so he didn’t really know how to control a panic attack but he kept taking steady, deep breaths like his mum used to tell him when he would have an asthma attack.

Through his panicked mind, Steve heard Black Widow speak to someone else, clearly, she was speaking with someone else before saying to Steve.

“I’m coming to get you but until then follow these orders, I don’t want you to go into a full-blown panic attack.” If Steve was thinking right he would have told her to fuck off because he wasn’t going to follow the rules of someone in a mafia group but because he wasn’t in the right mind set, he followed what Black Widow told him to do copying his breathing so it was in-sync with Black Widows. Steve remember his mum doing this with his and thinking about his mum started to make him upset. God, he missed his mum.

Following Black Widows breathing was going great until Steve felt like he was going to vomit so he dropped his phone and made it to the sink and vomited into it. What a waste of a flu tablet. Steve then washed out the sink before sitting down next to toilet and adopting a pose from earlier on, his head on the toilet seat and his arms wrapped around his stomach, he’d forgotten all about his phone.

Somehow Steve could fall asleep in that position and when he woke up and the room stop spinning Steve saw Black Widow crouching in front of him, her lips where moving but Steve couldn’t make out what she was saying until the fuzzy noise stopped in his ears and he could hear Black Widow saying his name, Steve nodded his head to confirm that he could hear Black Widow and that he was now awake.

Looking up Steve saw a man standing before Black Widow and he looked nervous, he kept running his hands over the other and looking around the room every couple of seconds like eye contact made him uncomfortable. After a couple seconds to get his bearings about him Steve tried to push himself up but Black Widow pushed him back down saying.

“Oh, no you aren’t going anywhere you are coming with us.” The nervous man then crouched in front of Steve like Black Widow was and said.

“Hello, my name is doctor Banner, I’m here to give you medical attention. Black Widow told me that you have the flu.” Steve nodded to confirm to doctor Banner that was right and Steve said to give doctor Banner more insight.

“Yeah, my body hates me so the flu always tries to find a way to kill me.” The nodded a look of concern on his face and said.

“I think it is best if we can get you to an hospital, you are in no fit shape to be in a house like this on your own.” Steve shook his head, he hated hospitals so Steve said.

“That isn’t happening, just stitch up my head and leave, I’ll be able to handle the rest.” At least some sense was coming back to Steve to not follow someone who worked for SHIELD. Doctor Banner bit his finger nails.

“I really think going to hospital is the best thing to do, you need twenty-four-seven care if something like the flu is dangerous every time you have one.” Steve shook his head again and said.

“No I don’t want to go to any hospital, I just want to get into bed and sleep this away by myself.”

The two of them seemed to argue forever and it was not helping Steve’s headache, Doctor Banner refused to stitch the head wound unless Steve agreed to go to the hospital with him, Steve knew if the head wound was serious that the doctor would have stitched him up already and the wound wasn’t bleeding anymore. Steve then started to be immature and ignored the doctor and just laid his head on the toilet seat, closing his eyes and let the cool toilet seat take away some of heat from Steve’s burning forehead.

Hearing the ‘click, clack’ of high heels got Steve’s attention again. Black Widow had walked back into the bathroom holding her mobile phone and a scowl on her face, displeased with Steve saying no to medical treatment. Black Widow then said with annoyance in her voice.

“Steve, you are in no state to be saying no to medical attention, you are will be coming with us.” Steve rolled his eyes and huffed, God, why wouldn’t they all just leave him alone? So, he tried another method of making them feel like this wasn’t anything out of the normal for Steve and said.

“I’ve had worse than this, so I don’t know what you are worrying about just check my head wound and put me back into bed, I will be back to normal in a couple of days. Black Widow pinched her nose, getting annoyed and said.

“I will drag you out of here if I have too Steve.” Steve rubbed his head against the toilet seat, man, his head hurt still and said.

“Please just let me die alone.” Then a male voice came from the bathroom door.

“Like hell I’ll let you die because of the stupid flu.” Steve glared at Black Widow, damn her. Steve then said.

“I am fine just stich me up and leave me alone, I don’t want any of your help.” Steve had been looking at the white of the toilet seat when a hand grabbed his chin, making him look up. It was Bucky again he must have been the random guys voice. Steve then glared at Bucky saying.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me and never come back?” Bucky smiled and said.

“But that was before I found out that you are sick, I’m annoyed at Black Widow that she didn’t tell me right away” Steve pulled his head away from Bucky’s grip and started at the white wall to his right.

Doctor Banner asked Steve again if he would come with them to the hospital. Steve declined like he had the other hundred times he had been asked. Steve thought that was going to be the end of it because doctor Banner left the bathroom sighing. Just as Steve got comfy again with his head on the toilet seat he was picked up by Bucky, the first thing Steve did was aim for the bastards face but he was so weak and tired that the punch hardly did anything to Bucky then he was over Bucky’s shoulder, his shoulder Sticking into Steve’s stomach and Bucky said.

“Since you won’t come to the hospital on your own I will drive you there, I hope your neighbours don’t mind seeing you being carried out of your house.” Steve glared at Bucky and said with as much malic in his voice.

“Once you let go of me I’m going to kick your arse.” Bucky laughed and patted Steve’s back where his hand laid to keep Steve stable, saying.

“Sure, kick my arse when you get better though.” Steve kept on squirming but that was only because he was being carried, he didn’t have the energy to fished anymore. All he wanted to do was sleep. Steve shivered and said to Bucky.

“It’s cold you know?” Bucky sighed and said.

“were nearly at my car, you’ll be warm soon. I’ll put the heating on full.” Steve let his head droop. When they got to Bucky’s car, Bucky took Steve off his shoulder and leaned his against the side of his car as he opened the car door to get Steve in. Steve stared at the stars and said.

“Black Widow is a traitor.” But Bucky didn’t reply, he just herded Steve into the passenger side of his car and boy was it a nice car, it must be some sort of Aston Martin, Steve was no ashamed to say he was jealous of this car. Bucky leaned over Steve as he put on Steve’s seatbelt for him which Steve found funny a mafia boss being worried about someone’s safety in a car. Steve did wish that Bucky had a four-door car because right now Steve would love to just lay out in the back of the car. Once Bucky was in the car as well and was on his way to the hospital he finally replied to Steve.

“Black Widow isn’t a traitor, she wasn’t going to tell me you were sick until you started to refuse to go to the hospital.” Steve laid his head against the cold window glass of the car and said.

“I don’t like hospitals…” Steve had lived most his young life in hospitals due to his long list of medical problem, he even lost his mother in a hospital when she had asked to die at home. When Bucky asked why Steve didn’t answered, just closed his eyes and let the cold glass cool his burning forehead and by the time they got to the hospital Steve had fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again boys and grills :3  
> Again this is early but I started writing it like right after the last chapter and I just finished it because sometimes I'm just like meh I don't wanna write, also doing English makes me go meh I don't wanna look at words anymore.  
> Also I would like to personally thank every single one of you who have commented, kudos and bookmarked this story it really does motivate me to bring out chapters faster and also makes me go skeee people like my story x_x  
> Bucky has a very fancy car in this, but gotta give Bucky that lavish life.  
> Sorry if the description of a panic attack was a bit shitty I've never had one myself and was going off what my friend told me her panic attacks were like  
> Also Idk how I feel about this chapter to be honest... I don't think it's the worst but hey I'm never proud of anything i do so eh  
> Also thank you for reading this and sorry for any mistakes, they are all my own fault because I suck and cant read or write.


	5. Hospital

When Steve woke up he had no idea where he was, this toom was nothing like his rooms in his apartment. The walls were pale blue instead of the dirty white in his apartment with the mould patched and no cracks running across the ceiling. Panicking Steve tried to push himself up from the comfy bed, a proper sturdy bed not the one that Steve had gotten from a bin, the mattress was comfy and didn’t have springs sticking out of it which stabbed Steve when he laid down on it. Before Steve could push himself up fully there was a hand on his shoulder pushing him down gently, Steve let himself be moved so he was laying down again. Looking to his side Steve saw Bucky standing over him with a look of concern on his face, why was Bucky here? Had he kidnapped Steve? Steve didn’t realise that he was breathing heavily until Bucky was telling him to follow his breathing, Steve could only understand Bucky because his mum had taught him to read lips when he was a young boy.

It took a while for Steve to get his breathing back to normal and once his breathing had regulated he turned his head to the side to ask Bucky what the hell was happening where was he but before Steve could ask anything his senses started to come back to him. He could hear; the beeping of a heart monitoring machine, the voice of Bucking asking Steve if he was okay, chatting coming from outside the door. He was in a hospital. That’s when Steve remembered everything that had happened. Steve felt heat rise to his cheeks in embarrassment for getting so panicked in front of Bucky.

Steve was in his own thoughts until he felt someone sit on the side of the hospital bed and shake his shoulder, Steve blinked and a blurry Bucky came into view since Steve wasn’t wearing his glasses and Bucky asked.

“Steve answer me, are you okay?” Well that’s what Steve thinks Bucky said because he was talking into his right ear and that was his bad ear, so Steve tapped his bad ear and said.

“I can’t really hear you, you might want to move to my left.” Bucky raised his eyebrow clearly wondering why Steve told him to move but he did move to Steve’s left and said.

“Why can’t you hear in the right, do you need the doctor?” Steve chuckled and shook his head, replying.

“No, I’m partially deaf. Can only hear a little in my right ear.” Bucky still looked concerned but he nodded, saying.

“Shouldn’t you have a hearing aid to help with that?” Steve rubbed his right ear and said.

“Broke it a couple weeks ago, in a fight, can’t afford to buy a new one now.” But before Bucky could ask Steve anymore questions Steve asked.

“So when can I go home?” Bucky looked at Steve, asking.

“How are you feeling?” Steve shrugged and answered.

“Like Satan is drilling holes into my head.” Bucky stood up and shrugged, replying.

“Then you aren’t leaving until you get better.” Steve rolled his eyes and was going to argue when Bucky’s phone started ringing. Bucky looked at his phone and then pointed at Steve, saying.

“Don’t you dare move from that bed.” Bucky then left the room.

Steve stayed in the bed for a couple of seconds before asking himself.

 _‘Why am I listening to a mafia boss? I’m an adult I can do whatever the hell I want.’_ Steve also had work that needed doing at home, he didn’t have time to be staying in hospital because that wouldn’t pay his bills. So, Steve detached all the wires from his body and pushed himself out of the bed, he was still very much ill but he couldn’t let the flu cause him to miss out on money he so desperately needed.

Once Steve stood up the room span so Steve had to grab onto the bed and let the room stop spinning before looking around the room again. He was wearing the standard issued hospital gown but luckily his clothes where sat on one of the visiting chairs, so he quickly grabbed them and changed into them. Steve then saw a notepad and pen on the side cabinet, grabbing them Steve wrote a note to Bucky. ‘Thank for looking after me but I have stuff to do and I can’t be kept in hospital.’ Steve put the note on the bed and then poked his head out the door, looking left and right seeing no one on the corridor Steve walked out.

He was so close to escaping, just a few feet and he would have been out the hospital doors but a female voice stopped him saying.

“So, where do you think you’re going?” Steve groaned and turned around to see Black Widow in front of him with one hand on her hip, clearly displeased to see Steve out of the hospital bed, So Steve said.

“I was going to leave.” Black Widow then crossed her arms and replied.

“You are still ill Steve, we aren’t making that up. We aren’t trying to keep you hostage also I’m sure Bucky told you to stay in the bed.” Steve rubbed the back of his head and pleaded with Black Widow.

“Please, I need to go home. I have work I need to do and if I don’t get it done I won’t be getting paid, please just let me go.” Black Widow sighed but had a light smile on her face, which made Steve uncomfortable he’d never seen Black Widow smile and he felt like it was something not many people were able to see Steve thought.

 _‘Maybe if she wasn’t in the mafia we could have become friends.'_ Black Widow then said.

“Let me at least take you home, you have no coat and it’s freezing out there.” Steve nodded, he wasn’t going to argue with her when she was going to help him get back home so he said.

“Yeah I’m fine with that.

When Steve got into Black Widow’s car which wasn’t as fancy as Bucky’s car he asked Black Widow.

“Would you please not tell Bucky where I am and what I am doing?” Black Widow sighed again and started up her car, saying.

“You are going to make me lose my job, I really shouldn’t be disobeying boss’s orders, he said to contact him if you were doing something stupid, but I understand that you need the money so I won’t tell him.” Steve smiled at Black Widow and said.

“Thank you, I know it’s a big risk not following your bosses ordered but it really does mean a lot to me.” This is what got Steve thinking about Black Widow not being a bad person, yes, she in the mafia and probably had killed some people but all she had done to Steve is be nice, helping him when he needed it so he said.

“thank you.” Black Widow did that small smile again before saying.

“You’re getting soft on me Steve.” Huffing, Steve looked out the car window and said.

“You know what, I take it back you don’t deserve my appreciation.”

The rest of the car ride was in silence and Steve didn’t complain the silence was good for his headache. It took about an hour to get back to Steve’s apartment and once Black Widow parked outside of Steve’s apartment complex, Steve felt guilty for not giving Black Widow something back in return for helping him so he offered.

“Would you like to come in and have some food?” Black Widow shook her head declining the offer.

“Boss will be coming back your room soon and I want to be back at the hospital so it isn’t me who get my head chopped off but I will take the offer another day.” Steve then got out of the car and walked into his apartment.

One he was back in his apartment, Steve locked his door and put the chain on the door, he closed his curtains. Steve then walked into his bedroom where all his art supplies where and a half-finished illustration for a magazine company sat on the table. They were paying him good money for this piece so Steve was trying to make it as good as he possibly could.

Grabbing his MP3 and headphones from his first cupboard he then sat down on the chair and pushed himself so he was at the table. Steve put his headphones in and put his music on full blast, might as well ruin his ears more. Letting his mind go blank Steve got himself into drawing mode, forgetting all about the outside world the only thing that mattered right now was his art. This was the only time he felt truly at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello boys and grills again yet another chapter for you guys :3  
> It seems that I update this like every 5 days which I totally don't mean to do btw  
> I've got a cold so I've been spending all day in bed meaning I've had a little bit more time to do some writing!  
> I tried to make this chapter longer since someone complained to me that I made chapters too short ;_; but it's really hard guys, I like making them 1000 words but this person said I should try to add more so I tried and I suck...  
> There seems to be a lot of filler chapters on this... I need to get to the action soon, I don't want this fic to be like 1000 chapters  
> All these comments, kudo's and bookmarks are the reason I am bringing out chapters so fast because I know people actually enjoy reading thing, even though I don't understand why cause I suck at writing ;_;  
> Well I hope you enjoy this chapter :3 and sorry for any mistakes dyslexia sucks and I suck


	6. Chapter 6

Steve avoided SHIELD for a week, which Steve was proud about because he had been sure that they would have come and see him. It would have been longer but then he had to get into a stupid fight and get the attention of SHIELD again. Well Steve says a fight but it was more like some drunk douche had walked out a pub whilst Steve was walking home after being shopping and douche must have thought.

 _‘Hey he’s weak and fragile, let’s start a fight with him.’_ Instead of the guy punching the shit out of him, the guy had pushed Steve which then made Steve slip on some ice pulling the stitches at his hair line open meaning he was taken into hospital again. Meeting Bucky again was all that nurses fault, traitor.

It was the shy, curly haired doctor again who came in and stitched his wound again, Steve was in his own thoughts trying to remember the name of this doctor and Steve was about to ask him for his name again when a brown-haired nurse walked into the room and said.

“Dr Banner, you have a patient who has come in and needs to be seen ASAP.” The nurse then looked Steve over and walked out of the room without even saying hello, rude. Dr Banner finished quickly after that and told Steve that he would have to stay at the hospital for a couple of hours just so they could make sure the stitches weren’t going to come out again and that he’d check on Steve after he’d finished with his other patients to see if he could go home.

Pouting over losing all that food Steve didn’t hear the stomping off combat boots coming down the hall way. Steve jumped out of the hospital bed when the door to his room was slammed open and an angry Bucky walked in. This was the first-time Steve had ever seen Bucky angry and he had to admit Bucky looked intimidating when he’s angry. Steve sat back down on the bed knowing what was going to happen, Bucky was going to shout at him for doing something stupid and then they would get back on with their lives. Steve looked up at the ceiling so he didn’t have to look at Bucky when he was shouting at Steve but Steve couldn’t do that because Bucky grabbed Steve’s chin and made it so Steve had to look Bucky in the eyes. Steve tried to pull his chin out of Bucky’s grip but it didn’t work so Steve gave up and looked slightly to the side with his eyes so he wasn’t looking directly into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky then said in his rough voice.

“when the fuck will you learn? Every goddamn time I hear your name it’s because somehow you’ve gotten yourself hurt.” Steve rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything because he wasn’t about to big himself into his own grave because Steve was sure if he spoke he would just make Bucky angrier so, Steve was just going to let Bucky to get all his anger out before telling him to stop worrying.

The pressure on Steve’s jaw tightened and he glared at Bucky, because ow, that did hurt him but it did get Steve looking into Bucky’s eyes which seemed to be ablaze with anger and Bucky said.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me Rogers, do you know how much of a pain in the arse you are to me and the rest of SHIELD?” Steve really did try and keep his mouth shut but he was not about to be blamed for something that wasn’t his fault so he said to Bucky.

“I never asked you or SHIELD to watch over me, I never wanted to see you again after I learnt you were the leader of SHIELD, also I can look after myself fine. So why not just leave me alone?” Bucky then growled which caused Steve to jump and Bucky replied.

“I try and look after what is mine, so why won’t you listen to me? I’m only trying to keep you safe!” Steve felt fire in the gut at being made a possession to a mafia boss, Steve wasn’t someone who could be owned and he said as much to Bucky.

“The fuck I am yours, I am no one’s! I don’t even want anything to do with you, you are a murderer! Why would I want anything to do with you?” Steve voice was laced with venom as he said.

“I have kept myself alive for twenty-two years, I don’t need some dick telling me that I can’t” Bucky let go of Steve’s jaw and started pacing about the hospital room and said.

“I could just fucking kill you! Do you know how angry you make me? I try to goddam’ help you and I’m the fuckin’ villain.” Steve stood up from the bed and pushed Bucky by his shoulders saying.

“I will say it one last time, I never asked for your help! I don’t need help from anyone. Why don’t you just leave me alone so I can live my life and you can live yours?” Bucky messed up his hair and pulled on it saying.

“Why won’t you accept my help? I don’t want to see someone who had a heart so pure get hurt.” Bucky’s voice lowered like he was sad.

“I’ve seen too many people like you die on the streets of Brooklyn because of your damn stupid large hearts.” Steve did feel sorry for Bucky in that moment because it must be hard for even a mafia boss to see good people lose their lives so Steve said.

“I’m sorry that you’ve had to see good people die but I still don’t want your help. I’m more likely to die being around you than if I was on my own.”

Sighing Bucky crouched down and put his hands in his hair and this is the first-time Steve saw Bucky’s left arm, it was made from metal. Everything Steve was going to say about his and Bucky’s relationship was forgotten for Steve wanting to ask about his arm, but then Steve’s mums voice came into his head

 _‘Don’t you dare ask him about that arm, I taught you better then to be that rude.’_ So, Steve kept his mouth shut but now that he had seen it Steve’s eyes kept coming back and staring at the metal arm when Bucky coughed Steve looked back up at Bucky’s face who was now standing up again and Bucky asked.

“How the hell did you end up back in hospital?” Steve rubbed the back of his head sighing and said.

“It wasn’t my fault! I was walking home from just going shopping when some drunk douche walked out a pub and thought he could start a fight with me because of how thin and sick I am, the thing was he pushed me and I slipped on some ice which pulled out my stitches.” Bucky rubbed his face with his none metal hand and said.

“Does trouble just follow you around?” Steve shrugged and replied.

“In most cases I am at fault in some way, but sometimes the Earth really hates me and some dick will start a fight with me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” Bucky took and deep breath and then apologised to Steve, saying.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you, I’ve just been so fucking worried since you ran from the hospital and about your last visit to the hospital how did you get away so quickly? You didn’t have a car with you and the next bus wasn’t until another 20 minutes.” Steve decided that he would not tell Bucky that Black Widow was the reason he got away so quickly because then Black Widow would be in trouble. Bucky was talking when the same rude nurse from earlier and said.

“Someone is in the reception area wanting to speak with you Mr Barnes.” Bucky sighed and stood up, he messed with his hair which was unruly from him messing it up and pulling at it earlier until it was presentable and then pointed a finger at Steve, saying.

“Stay here, if you don’t I swear to God I’ll kick down the door to your apartment.” Huffing, Steve crossed his arms, he must look like a two-year-old but it did make Bucky chuckled and say.

“I’ll be gone five minute’s max, I’m sure you’re not that impatient.” Steve nodded and Bucky walked out giving Steve one last smile.

Expecting the nurse to leave as well Steve laid his head on the cushions on his bed and started to get comfy but then he noticed that the nurse hadn’t left yet and was glaring at him so Steve asked.

“Can I help you?” The nurse put her right hand on her hip and said.

“You better watch out what you say to Mr Barnes he might be nice to you now but there’s only so long he can be nice before he’ll get bored of you and then kill you.” Steve snorted, who did this woman think she was scaring? Because it wasn’t working so Steve said.

“I really couldn’t care, I hope it’s sooner than later then I won’t have to worry about my bills or having to talk to people like you.” The nurse went red in the face and was about to say something when a raspy voice came from behind the nurse saying.

“Don’t you have a job to do?” It was Black Widow’s raspy voice.  The nurse turned around to Black Widow apologising before leaving the room. Black Widow then walked into Steve’s room and Steve noticed that there was something different with her. Her hair wasn’t red anymore it was now blonde. And a man followed behind her who had dirty blonde hair and looked a lot less uptight than Black Widow but the change to Black Widow’s hair shocked Steve more than the addition of an extra person. Steve was going to ask her a question about her hair but must have known that Steve was confused by her hair and she said.

“I was for a job, people know me too well with red hair so I thought blonde was the next best thing.” Steve nodded and said

“Could have gone black, would have probably been easier than bleaching your hair, but het what do I know about mafia business?” The man next to Black Widow chuckled and said.

“I already like you, you speak back to Tasha and she doesn’t kill you for it.” Steve tilted his head with learning Black Widow’s name and asked.

“That’s what Black Widow’s name is?” Tasha glared at the blond-haired man and said.

“Are you an idiot, he didn’t know my name, I was Black Widow to him.” The man rubbed the back of his head looking sheepish and said.

“Hey, I’m sorry let me make it up to you.” Clint then looked back at Steve and said.

“I’m Clint, nice to meet you.” Steve smiled and replied.

“Hi, name’s Steve nice to meet you too.” After greeting Clint Steve looked back at Tasha and asked.

“Why would you be angry with that name it’s nice. I mean it’s not that name I would have thought you’d have.” Tasha sighed and said.

“My name is Natasha, please don’t call me Tasha or I will kill you. Only stupid here can get away with calling me Tasha.” Steve looked at the two and could see some chemistry between the two, so that made Steve think that maybe they were daring or good friends. Steve asked.

“So, what are you doing here Natasha?” It felt weird called Natasha by her real name and not Black Widow he’d gotten used to calling her that.

Sitting on one of the hospital plastic chairs Natasha crossed one of her legs over the other and said.

“Bucky got really pissed earlier and mumbled your name when I asked him what was wrong, so I guessed that you did something stupid and was in hospital. I would have come earlier but you see Clint here is an idiot and got himself into a little fight with some low life thug who actually got a couple good hits at Clint.” Natasha turned her head so she was looking at Clint who was leaning on the wall next to the door and asked.

“Aren’t you embarrassed about that?” Steve looked back at Clint and saw that his face with covered in white plasters, probably stopping the blood from rubbing down his face but then something caught Steve’s eye, something shinned in Clint’s ear, he had a hearing aid in and he asked Clint.

“Are you deaf?” Steve didn’t miss the look of guilt which went over Natasha’s features, the question didn’t seem to faze Clint who replied.

“Nearly, I might as well be fully deaf, I’ve only for thirty percent hearing left, kind of sucks to be honest.” Steve nodded at least being able to sympathise with Clint and said.

“Yeah it does such, I’m deaf in my left ear.” After Steve said that Clint was right up in Steve’s face and said.

“You haven’t got any hearing aids in.” Steve smiled and replied.

“Yeah, I know of broke mine a couple weeks ago, but I can still hear in my right ear so it isn’t that bad really.” Clint frowned looked concerned and said.

“You still need your hearing aid I know how much it sucks to not have one, I’ll talk to Bucky.” Steve interrupted Clint and said.

“You don’t have to worry, I’ve nearly got enough money to afford a new one.” Clint nodded and stood next to Natasha who was still sitting in the chair. Steve looked the two of them over again, they looked like they would make a cute couple. Clint the hyper, easy going guy whilst Natasha was more cautious and level headed. It made them look good together.

The three of them spoke for what seemed a couple of minutes but turned out to be an hour, Steve only knew this because when Bucky walked back in he said.

“Sorry it took me so long, I didn’t expect him to speak so much.” Steve didn’t ask who ‘he’ was because he didn’t really care about Bucky’s business so Steve just nodded to say that it was okay and Steve said.

“It’s okay, Natasha and Clint kept me company whilst you were talking to whoever.” Steve looked back over to Natasha and Clint and found that the two had stood up and were getting ready to leave, Steve felt disappointment setting in his stomach, he’d been enjoying speaking with the two of them. Clint bought out more of Natasha’s emotion’s whilst Natasha kept Clint in line. It was cute to witness but they probably had things to be getting on with so Steve said goodbye to two when they announced that they were leaving but before they were fully out the door Natasha said to Steve.

“You have my number Steve, never be scared to ring me I will always answer.” Steve smiled and said.

“Thank you I will make sure that I do.” Bucky kept standing with his hands in his jeans, looking straight at Steve which made Steve a little nervous and Bucky said.

“Banner said that you can go home, so I’ll drop you off at home.” Steve nodded and got out the bed and said.

“Would you be able to drop me off at a cheap diner, I lost all my food when I slipped over and I have no food in the house.”  Bucky smiled and replied.

“Right, food first and then home. Now come on It’s already late and I do want to get home myself today.” Steve followed Bucky out the hospital saying thank you to Dr Banner when he passed him in the hallway.

They both ended up eating together in a shitty diner just a couple streets away from Steve’s apartment, Steve hadn’t known that Bucky was going to stay and eat until Steve said.

“You can leave now if you want, I’ll be able to get myself home quickly from here.” Bucky smiled and replied.

“I haven’t eaten in hours and I’m starving so I might have food here whilst I am in here.” Bucky didn’t let Steve pay for anything which Steve argued with him over because Steve wasn’t a charity case and he didn’t want to take other people’s money when he had his own. Then a cheese burger and chips was put in front of him and Steve stopped complaining because he hadn’t had something like burgers in months and he loved them. Steve said.

“Thank you, for buying this Bucky.” Before tucking into his food never noticing that Bucky hardly touched his food yet, he was too bust watching Steve.

They got to Steve’s apartment at 1AM and Steve said.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me today but now you have to leave me alone and never speaker to me again.” Steve wished he meant that but he didn’t. He didn’t want to stop talking to Bucky even though he was the boss of SHIELD. Steve wanted to get to know Bucky better and not just as the leader of SHIELD he wanted to know who Bucky Barnes was. These thoughts scared Steve because he shouldn’t be thinking them. He should be scared of the boss but all he felt now was safe and Steve didn’t know how to handle these feeling so he just pushed these feeling to the side and laid on his bed, it didn’t take Steve long to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again boys and grills  
> It's another chapter and yes again it's 5 days later...  
> I really don't mean to do that tbh...  
> I'm still really sick so whilst writing this I've been like urgh shoot me  
> I'm really happy how this chapter turned out  
> I tried to write more words than the usual 1000 I think I got close to around 3000 so I hope that you enjoy this longer chapter... Because people have been saying they want loner chapters and I wanna make the readers happy.  
> Can I just say I totally squealed when Bucky said 'your mine.' I was just like omg so much YES!  
> Also I was totally listening to slipknot when I wrote the argument part haha  
> I also found out I find it easier to write on notepad then word, if that weird???  
> Welp I hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for all the love you are giving this fic every single kudos, bookmark or comment motivates me!  
> Sorry for any spelling mistakes they are all my fault cause I suck!


	7. Chapter 7

When Steve woke up, he thought that he was going to have a better day than yesterday. Then he had looked at his phone to see he had an email from the magazine company he had been doing the illustration for. It said.

_Dear Steven Rogers,_

_Thank you for sending the illustration that we had ordered but after the piece going under review it was decided that the piece is not what we are looking for. For this we will not be able to send you the full amount for the commission but you will get to keep the deposit and we will send you half the money because we know it must have taken you a lot of time to make.  
We are sorry if this causes you any inconveniences._

_Yours Sincerely._

Steve started at his phone for what seemed forever, they weren’t going to use his piece? He had spent so much time on it. Steve sighed and sent a text message to Natasha without even thinking.

_‘How do you feel about killing someone for me?’_

It was only meant as a joke, he didn’t really want Natasha to kill his agency. Shit he shouldn’t have sent that message to someone who works in the mafia. Steve jumped when his phone started ringing and his caller ID showed Natasha’s name so he answered and was going to tell Natasha that it was all a joke and that there wasn’t anything to worry about but Natasha started talking first, saying.

“What’s happened?” Sighing, Steve thought.

 _‘I might as well tell her what’s happened, I need to get it all off my chest anyway.’_ Steve then explained his situation.

“I did an illustration for a magazine company but they have just sent me an email saying that they won’t be using the piece and that they will only be paying me half the money, I could have really used that money right now as well.” Steve heard Natasha moving around and she said.

“I can give you.” But before Natasha could finish what she was saying Steve butted in, saying.

“I swear to God if you say what I think you are about to say I will hang up on you and never speak to you again, I’ll make some money another way.” Steve laid back onto his bed, maybe he should just stay in bed all day then nothing else bad can happen to him. Natasha then said.

“Okay Steve, I won’t say anything more about giving you money. I’ve got to get going I have a meeting with some idiots, I’ll call you later.” Steve huffed and replied.

“Yeah, I can live with that, have fun.” Steve then ended the call and placed his phone onto the floor.

Turning onto his stomach and pushing his face into his pillow. Steve felt like crying the money he would have gotten for that commission would have helped him get by this week. He won’t complain to anyone that his fridge is almost empty and that his bills need paying next week because they are his problems, he shouldn’t push them onto anyone else. If his mother was still alive she would be calling him an idiot right now and saying that it is okay to be selfish and ask for help sometimes, no one would blame him. The problem was Steve didn’t want people to think that he was weak and that he couldn’t do anything for himself he had spent too much of his life being weak and Steve couldn’t take it if people saw him as nothing but a weak boy.

Steve had fallen asleep and when he woke up he felt even worse than he did before but he still pushed himself out of bed, even though all he wanted to do was stay in bed all day and hide from the world. He needed to get himself ready to try and make some extra money or he wasn’t going to be able to eat or pay his bills, he also grabbed his phone from the floor to see he had a missed call from Natasha but he didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Steve put his phone onto his site cabinet and went to go have a shower.

When Steve got out the shower he walked back into his room and saw that his phone was lit up so he walked to it and saw that he had a message from Natasha so he opened it and it said.

 _‘I know someone who owns a bar, I can get you some paid work there.”_ Rubbing the back of his head Steve thought.

 _‘They are probably part of SHIELD and I should probably stay away so you don’t get deeper into their web.’_ But then Steve also thought.

 _‘I need the money more than the world of being more in SHIELD’S web.”_ So, Steve messaged back.

_‘Okay, that sounds good, thank you. Can you tell me the place and what time I should be there for?”_

At 4pm Steve stood outside a bar called ‘The Avengers’ which Steve thought was a stupid name for a bar. The guy who owned the bar was called Tony Stark and the bar was in the rich side of Brooklyn, Steve hadn’t been down this part many times. When Natasha was telling Steve all the details she told him not to worry about clothes, which Steve was glad about because he didn’t have clothes which he thought would suit working in a bar or ‘going out’ clothes.

Steve had been standing outside the bar for half an hour when a Black Mercedes Benz rolled up. A smart dress smart with dark hair which was slicked back and a goatee came out the driver’s door. Steve guessed that this was the man who owned the bar. Steve stood up straight and looked Tony in the eyes to show he was eager to work.

Whilst trying to pull up a pair of leather pants in a small staff bathroom Steve had to wonder how he had gotten into this situation. Supposedly the dress code for worker in the bar was leather pants and a white shirt and if he had known this before he would have told Natasha no thanks. Steve felt so uncomfortable the leather pants gripped his thing legs and left nothing to the imagination, this made Steve uncomfortable but he had already agreed to do the job and he wasn’t someone who went back on their words. Steve looked at himself in the pants and shirt for too long. He didn’t know how anyone could find these clothes attractive on him, they didn’t suit a stick thing Steve Rogers.

Scowling at his own reflection one last time Steve walked out the bathroom stall, putting his phone in his breast pocket. Walking into the bar area he saw both Natasha and Clint sitting at the bar area and this made Steve want to turn straight back around and run out the fire exit. He didn’t want anyone who knew him seeing him like this.

Standing next to Tony Steve started to fidget with the sleeve of his shirt as he felt Natasha and Clint take in how he looked and once they did that they both grinned at each other, Steve didn’t know how to feel about that grin because he didn’t know what it meant but then Natasha said.

“You look really good Steve.” Steve smiled at Natasha he wasn’t about to tell her that he felt horrible in that clothes and what the hell did she see to say he looked good in them so instead he just said.

“Thank you.” Clint made a cruder compliment saying.

“If I was gay I’d totally bang you.” Steve rubbed the back of his head and chuckled, saying.

“Thanks, I guess, what are you two doing here anyway, don’t you have mafia business to be getting on with?”

Natasha smiled and said back.

“Don’t you have a bar job to be getting on with?” Steve didn’t ask why Natasha avoided the question he just walked behind the bar to start his shift.

The bar opened at 7pm but it didn’t get busy until 11pm and everything was going well until some douchebag slapped his arse when he was walking by to grab some empty glasses from a table. Steve wasn’t going to let douchebag guy get away with that so he turned around and was about to say something but the top of his arm was grabbed so Steve looked up and saw a scowling Bucky. Huffing Steve walked away from Bucky who was still glaring at douchebag guys, Steve wasn’t about to get involved if Bucky was but Steve was pissed at Bucky because Steve can look after himself he didn’t need Bucky to do it for him.

Another hour and a half went by before he saw Bucky again and Steve had to admit to himself that Bucky looked damn good tonight. The suit plants he was wearing fit him in all the right places, he had the sleeves of a black shirt rolled up to his elbows and Steve wished that he had his sketch book with him. What caught Steve’s eye thought was Bucky’s two arms, the left one being made of metal and the right being covered in beautiful tattoos which Steve couldn’t see because Bucky was standing too far away for Steve to be able to make out the design of it. Steve knew that it was beautiful because Bucky didn’t seem the kind of guy who did anything half arsed. Steve wanted to look closer at the sleeve, trace the imagery with his fingers, draw the patterns into his own style. Steve had been in his own thoughts so long that he didn’t notice that Bucky had made his way to the bat and was saying his name and it took Steve a couple of seconds to get out the trance and hear his name. Steve said wanting to get rid of the tension he’s made.

“Wasn’t you wearing a suit jacket earlier?” Steve was sure he had been, he had been wearing it at the beginning of the night so Bucky said.

“I was but I dirtied it up, I ain’t gonna wear somethin’ that is dirty.” Steve chuckled as heard Bucky’s Brooklyn accent come out thicker due to being tipsy.

Bucky kept on drinking more and more as the night wore down and an hour before closing time Tony said to Steve.

“Get him out of here, he’s going to end up getting into a fight and I don’t want that to happen in my bar again.” So, Steve did just that he dragged Bucky outside with him and called a taxi. Bucky was leaning up against the wall using it for support. Bucky’s hair which had been in a neat bun at the beginning of the night was now a mess, probably from Bucky trying to run his fingers through his hair and then remembering he had a bobble in it. Steve wanted to offer Bucky to take the bobble out his hair but Steve had stopped himself because he thought that was creepy.

Steve also got to see Bucky’s tattoo up close and he was right about how beautiful it was. It was mostly a shaded piece but every flower was coloured giving the tattoo life and it looked more interesting than a plain black and white one.

Steve had been staring at Bucky’s tattoo taking in all the detail for too long because Bucky’s arm was no longer there and he was face to face with Bucky who had his arms either side of Steve’s head. Steve didn’t know when that happened because he had been sure that Bucky had been leaning against the wall, he must have moved when Steve was thinking about his tattoo. Steve tried to push Bucky back wanting to get some of his personal space back but Bucky didn’t budge so Steve said.

“Get Buck you’re a bit to close.” Bucky just smiled at Steve completely ignoring what he said and said.

“Do you know how damn good you look tonight? I’ve not been able to take my eyes off you all night, it’s unfair fo’ someone to look so damn good.” Steve felt heat rising on his cheeks, he had no idea what to say to that and Steve didn’t want to say anything about his own insecurities so Steve said.

“Thanks Bucky, I guess.”

What Steve had not expected was for a pair of lips to land on his, Bucky was kissing him… Why was Bucky kissing him?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello boys a grills :D  
> This one has come out a little later than the other ones, but its been about a week since my last one so I did say I would update every week and I am trying to stay true to that!  
> College had started to kick me up the arse and I've been icky all week so I haven't really wanted to write at all, I mean writing this now I have an headache just behind my eyeballs and it is killing me but I wanted to get this chapter finished for you guys  
> I tried to make this chapter longer for you guys but I'm really bad at making longer chapters, sorry >w


	8. Chapter 8

Steve let the kiss go on longer that he should have let it, he should have pushed Bucky away right from the beginning but he had gotten lost in the roughness of Bucky’s lips so when Bucky’s phone started to ring Steve rook that change to run back into the bar and to hide from Bucky for the rest of his life.

Steve hid behind the bar, sat down on the cold floor and had a small mental breakdown. Bucky kissed him, Bucky was mafia boss! He had kissed a mafia boss back. He was going to die a terrible death because of what just happened.

The first face Steve saw after his mini breakdown was Tony who was crouched in front of his with one eyebrow raised and said.

“Bucky’s looking for you, why are you hiding?” Steve rubbed his forehead and replied.

“Bucky kissed me and now I’m going to have to hide in my flat for the rest of my life. Oh, God I’m going to die” Tony laughed loudly and said.

“Stop being such a drama queen, he kissed you now if it was the other way around I would understand your concern about dying but you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Steve sighed and said.

“I kissed him back! I should have pushed him away, I took advantage of him!” Tony patted Steve’s shoulder and said.

“Come on skeletor, just get on with the bar work and ignore Bucky at all costs the taxi you called will be here soon and Natasha at some point will get angry at Clint because of how drunk he is.” Steve nodded knowing that he needed to do his job so he stood up. Steve’s good at ignoring his problems and people he’d been going it his whole life, was forty minutes with Bucky.”

As it turned out it was hard to ignore Bucky, he was sitting at the bar giving Steve sad puppy eyes because Steve refused to talk to him or even look at him. Steve had thought they would have all left by now but Natasha was finding too much amusement in watching Clint act like an idiot, or she had another motive, Steve could never tell with that women.

As it got closer to closing time Steve started to enjoy himself serving people he’d even got some compliments from strangers which always causes Steve’s cheeks to darker and a huff to come from Bucky but Steve was still ignoring Bucky so Steve would just roll his eyes and carry on serving people.

By the time, Steve had finished everything he needed to do it was 2am so he decided not to get changed out his work clothes and put his street clothes into his backpack, putting his winter coat over the thing white shirt. He had told Tony that he would clean the trousers and shirt and bring them back to Tony. Bucky had left with Natasha and Clint when the bar stopped serving and Steve wished that they had waited for him because he didn’t really want to walk the streets of Brooklyn at 2am, not that Steve couldn’t take care of him he just didn’t like being out in Brooklyn at night because it always spelt out trouble for him.

Saying goodbye to Tony Steve put the hood of his coat over his head to cover it from the harsh winter, the night were getting colder and it wouldn’t take long that it got so cold that Steve wouldn’t be able to leave his house without taking at least two inhalers out with him.

Hearing someone vomit stopped Steve in his tracks, usually Steve would just walk past the sound but this person sounded miserable so Steve walked into the alley. Steve stopped in his tracks down the alley when he saw Bucky leaning against a building wall, bent over and holding his stomach. Steve was going to turn around and leave but then he noticed that Bucky wasn’t wearing a coat and in this weather that meant death. Steve sighed knowing he couldn’t leave the idiot on his own so he walked in front of Bucky and put his hand on his shoulder, saying.

“Hey, Bucky it’s me Steve. Let’s get you out of this cold.” Bucky looked up at Steve and Steve winced Bucked looked like he had been through war, his face was pale, lips now had a blue to ting to them and he was shivering, he just looked like shit. Bucky stuttered.

“I-I was waiting for you, what took y-you so long to get out?” Now Steve felt guilty but he didn’t know why, he hadn’t told Bucky to wait and Bucky hadn’t told Steve he was going to wait so Steve said.

“Tony told me I had to help him clean up before I left so it took me longer than I expected, I mean I’m not even out of these stupid leather pants yet, I just want to get home and it seems that you won’t be able to get back to yours so you can come stop at mine for the night.” Steve then started to walk out the alley not looking back to make sure that Bucky was following him because Steve had done his good deed for the day, offering Bucky a place to sleep. Steve jumped when he heard a crash come from behind him and a groan so Steve turned around and saw Bucky on his back looking up at the sky which made Steve laugh. The reason Steve laughed was because this man is one of the biggest mafia bosses in Brooklyn and Steve was seeing him so drunk that he slipped over on some ice. Steve helped Bucky get up and let Bucky hang onto his arm even though if Bucky slipped again Steve would go down with him.

Once they both got into Steve’s flat the first thing Steve did was drop Bucky onto the floor, breathing heavily Steve dug through his bag until he found his inhaler and used it. Steve felt his chest loosen after a couple of minutes of deep breathing and keeping himself calm. Steve looked down and found that Bucky was still on the floor, asleep now so Steve crouched down a shook Bucky’s shoulder his apartment was too cold to be sleeping on the floor. When Bucky opened his eyes, Steve said.

“Come on, let’s get you into my bed.” Bucky nodded and with the help of Steve got off the floor and started following Steve to his room. Steve would give Bucky his bed and Steve would just sleep on the sofa it was rude to let the guest not sleep in the bed.

Once Steve got Bucky into his bed he got him some water a couple of painkillers which he put on the side cabinet. After he made sure Bucky was safe he grabbed himself some blankets from his wardrobe and made his way to the sofa. It didn’t take long for Steve to fall asleep it had been a long and stressful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to get out... I haven't been very well lately, been pretty sad lately tbh and I just haven't had any motivation to write... But I was able to write this now!  
> I've also been writing my personal statement for university and it's making me wanna cry  
> Sorry this chapter is so short I just wanted to get a chapter out for you guys...  
> Thank you to everyone who is kudos, commenting and reading this fic it makes me have so much more confidence in my awful writing  
> Sorry for any mistakes, enjoy


	9. Chapter 9

The alarm going off on Steve’s phone is what woke him up and usually Steve was a morning person but today he just wanted to sleep all day but his best Friend Sam Wilson he had a couple days’ holiday from basic training and Sam said he’d spend them down in Brooklyn and Steve had promised to meet Sam at the airport.

When Steve finally got off the sofa he remembered that Bucky was still in his room so he tried to doing everything quiet so he wouldn’t wake Bucky up. Steve skipped food knowing that he would get some when he met Sam so Steve quietly stepped into his room where a snoring Bucky was wrapped around his quilts and grabbed some clean clothes from his wardrobe and went into the shower.

It didn’t take long for Steve to have a shower and to get ready but he was still late for meeting up with Sam because Steve had spaced out in the shower so he quickly finished up everything he needed to do and wrote Bucky a note saying that he had left for the day and that he can help himself to whatever is in his fridge which to be fair wasn’t a lot.

When Steve finally got to the airport Sam was waiting outside. Steve apologised for being late and they both go in cab. When the cab dropped them off Steve and Sam decided that they would eat at their favourite diner because neither of them had eaten and they were starving.

Once they got into the diner Steve ordered his food and laid his head against the cold table, it was finally hitting Steve how hungry and tired her was. Steve was falling asleep when he heard someone say his name which wasn’t Sam because Sam would have just let Steve sleep until their food came. Steve looked to the side and swore under his breath it was Natasha and Clint. They both decided that they were going to sit at the same table so Steve sighed and decided to introduce Sam.

“Sam this is Clint and Natasha.” He then looked at Clint and Natasha and said.

  
“Natasha and Clint this is Sam, my best friend.”

The rest of the day had gone well. Clint and Natasha decided that they would tag along with them for the rest of the day, well except for that one moment when Sam had started flirting with Natasha and Steve hadn’t known who he was more terrified of; Clint who was glaring at the back of Sam’s head and clenching his fists or Natasha who had one eyebrow lifted and an amused smirk on her lips. Steve had quickly put an end to that before anything could happened. Then Sam started telling them stories about their college days and Steve wanted to jump off a bridge because they were embarrassing, Steve felt so betrayed by his best friend, how could he do this? He’d only met the two of them a few hours ago.

At 10pm they all agreed that it was time to get going home, Steve had commissions he needed to start, Sam was tired from his journey and Steve had no idea what Clint and Natasha were going to be doing and Steve didn’t really want to ask. They said their goodbyes and Steve walked with Sam to the hotel he was staying in because Steve couldn’t bring himself to let Sam stay in his piece of shit apartment because he knew that Sam would feel guilty for not being able to help him. They both hugged before Sam walked into the hotel and Steve started walking back to his apartment.

When Steve got back to his apartment he had expected Bucky to be long gone. What he hasn’t been expecting was for Bucky to be laying on his piece of shit sofa looking through some of Steve’s old sketch books from college. Steve stopped at his door looking at Bucky and said.

“Um, Hey Bucky.” Bucky sat up and looked at Steve and said.

“I didn’t know you was this good at art.” Steve rubbed the back of his head, Steve thought that his art okay, it wasn’t as good as some people he had met in his art class but again he didn’t want Bucky to know about his self-doubt in his art so he said.

“Thanks.” Steve was going to ask why Bucky was still in his house but before Steve could ask Bucky started speaking.

“I saw the note you wrote me but when I went to the fridge I saw that you didn’t have anything to eat so I bought you some food and I thought you’d be better with it if I was here when you found the food rather than me not being here.”

This offended Steve, he didn’t want people to look after him he was a grown man. Steve crossed his arms and glared at Bucky who just grinned and said.

“Why are you glaring? I just bought you a load of food, if it makes you feel better I’m starving and would love to have some food if you want to make some.” Steve didn’t know if that pissed him off more or that it made him appreciate Bucky more because he was asking Steve to make the food because he would be in more power but Steve just said.

“I don’t have time to eat or make food, I have some commissions I need to start, so either make your own food or get lost.” Steve then walked off into his room and closed the door behind him.

Three hours later Steve was still drawing, he expected for Bucky to be gone but when his door opened and Bucky walked in Steve knew that Bucky wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon so Steve turned to Bucky and said.

“Can I help you?” No point in telling Bucky to leave because Steve was sure that Bucky wouldn’t listen and make himself more at home. Bucky sat on Steve’s bed and said.

“I made food and you are going to eat it whether you are hungry or not.” Steve decided that he was just going to ignore Bucky because he didn’t have time to mess around with eating, he could after this first commission was finished and at the rate that Steve was working he would probably have it finished by tomorrow morning but just as Steve started to draw again Bucky grabbed he pencil out of his hand and said.

“I’m not joke, get some food.” Steve huffed and pushed himself off his chair and said.

“Whatever you say mother.”

The smell of garlic hit Steve’s nose when he walked out his bedroom and on the dining table there was two plates of spaghetti bolognaise and another place full of garlic bread and Steve had to be truthful it smelt great and it made his stomach growl reminding him how hungry he is.

The meal was going fine until Bucky opened his stupid mouth and said.

“I remember the kiss you know?” Steve nearly choked on his pasta when Buck said that Steve then pushed himself from the dining table and ran into his bedroom, banging it shit and putting all his weight on it, not that it would take much for Bucky to overpower him, one hard push and he would probably get into the room. He just didn’t want to see Bucky his face was beet red, it wasn’t even Steve’s fault that they both kissed it was Bucky’s stupid drunkenness which made them both kiss, Bucky didn’t like him. Steve heard Bucky outside his bedroom door sigh and he said.

“Hey Steve let me in.” Like hell Steve was going to let Bucky in so that he could embarrass Steve so Steve said.

“I don’t want to talk about it, just forget about it.” Steve heard Bucky shuffle around and Bucky said.

“You know I’ve wanted to kiss you since you saved me when I got stabbed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again boys and grills I was able to get this part done on the week schedule...  
> It's still small because I am still going through a rough time but I feel guilty if I don't get a chapter out to you guys  
> Also applying for universities is stressing me out so much and damn I've never cried so much in my life from stress, but I am getting better slowly ...  
> After this chapter things are going to get a bit more spicy with the relationship between Bucky and Steve :D  
> Also next chapter I will have more of Sam/Steve's bromance  
> Well I hope you like this chapter :D  
> And sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes cause I just suck at getting anything completely right


	10. Chapter 10

“Let me in Steve.” Bucky asked again.

Like hell Steve was going to let Bucky in so he could see how red Steve’s face is from the confession. Steve didn’t believe what Bucky had just told him, why would anyone look at skinny Steve rogers? Even Steve himself hated his own body so, why would anyone else like it? Bucky was the boss for SHIELD, he could have any man or women he wanted, probably people who are a lot more attractive than Steve. Steve heard Bucky sigh and Steve said.

“It’s fine Bucky, you don’t have to life to me.” Steve was answered with silence so he figured that Bucky had decided to leave.

What Steve hadn’t expected was five minutes later for Bucky to walk into his room with a scowl on his face and say.

“Why would I lie to you?” At this point, Steve, had gone back to his art work hoping that it would take his mind of what just happened but since Bucky asked Steve replied.

“Well you were, wasn’t you?” Bucky sighed again and sat on Steve’s bed and said.

“I’m not lying to you Steve, I’ve been thinking about for so long, you’re the first person who had made friends with the most important people in my group. Natasha is fond of you she’s never been so calm around someone new. Tony, let you work at his bar when usually you must go through months of training even to step behind his bar. Clint hasn’t threatened you once, you are part of my group even if you don’t know you are. Now tell me who has made you think so badly of yourself, I will make them pay.” Steve rolled his eyes and decided just to ignore Bucky and hope that he would get bored and leave. He couldn’t believe Bucky no-one looked twice at Steve so why would Bucky? Steve glanced at Bucky who grinned and said.

“You can ignore me all you want Steve, I’m not going to leave until I get an answer from you.” Steve just glared at Bucky before going back to his drawing.

Half an hour later and Steve wanted to stab his pencil into Bucky’s throat. It wasn’t that Bucky was going or saying anything. Steve could just feel Bucky breathing down his neck and it was getting on his nerves. All Steve wanted to do was get on with his art and forget all about what just happened.

Bucky started to tap his fingers on Steve’s bedside cabinet and that was when Steve snapped and turned to Bucky saying.

“What the fuck do you want with me Bucky? I am not some idiot who will fall for some stupid compliments.” Bucky smiled and Steve and replied.

“Hey, I finally got your attention. I know you aren’t an idiot and I’m not trying to treat you like one I’m just tell you the truth.” Steve rubbed his forehead and gave all his attention to Bucky and said.

“I don’t know what you want from me Bucky, I’m just some skinny guy who found you in an alley and decided to help you. What is so important about me that you keep coming back?” Bucky chuckled and replied to the question.

“That’s exactly the reason I am so interested in you Steve. You stopped and helped me, no other person would have done that, they would have looked at me and gotten on with their day. You aren’t just some skinny guy to me. You have such a big heart and in this place, that is rare to come upon and since I’ve found something so rare in a person I don’t want to let go. I really do like you Steve, please let me show you that. Give me a chance and I will show you I’m not lying.” Steve sighed and said.

“And how are you going to show that you like me?” Bucky smiled brightly, probably because Steve had taken his bait and said.

“Let me take you on a date, nothing fancy since I’m sure you’d have a fit if I spent too much money on you.”

Steve doesn’t know why he agreed to go on a date with Bucky. Well he did; it was to get Bucky off his back, But, now as he stood outside in the parking lot of his apartment complex he was starting to feel nervous. Bucky had said they wouldn’t be going anywhere fancy but still Steve felt underdressed, only wearing a blue shirt with his nicest denim jeans and when Bucky finally came to pick him up and got out his car Steve felt even more underdressed. Bucky was wearing a white shite, waist coat, black pants and a pair of shiny leather shoes and Steve guessed that whole outfit cost Bucky more than Steve monthly rent. He looked good and Steve wasn’t going to lie about that, the way that shirt hugged his arms made Steve’s mouth water and don’t get Steve started on how those pants fit Bucky in all the right places. Steve asked to get his mind off Bucky’s body.

“You said to wear casual clothes.” Bucky chuckled and replied.

“I did say that but the meeting I was in went on a lot longer than I expected and I didn’t want to be late so I had to do with wearing my clown outfit.” Steve shrugged and said.

“I guess I can forgive you, where are we going anyway?” Bucky tapped his nose and said.

“Now that’s a secret. Come on if we don’t get going soon we’ll be late.” Steve huffed and said.

“You booked us a table at a restaurant, you said it wasn’t going to be anything special.” Bucky shrugged and replied.

“I don’t remember saying anything about it not being special.”

Getting to Bucky’s car Steve glared at Bucky who was giving Steve a shit eating grin and Steve said.

“I swear if we are going somewhere fancy that costs more than $20 I will punch you.” Bucky smiled and started up the car and said.

“Let me just look after you this once, it doesn’t look like you’ve had a good meal in a while, let me spoil you just this once.” Steve crossed his arms and said.

“I swear to God Bucky if I look out of place I am walking straight out and going home.” Bucky glanced at Steve out the corner of his eye and said/

“You look amazing, you’ll be the best looking one in the whole restaurant.” Steve scoffed and looked out the window, totally not so Bucky wouldn’t see Steve’s red cheeks.

Steve was going to stab Bucky and bury his body where no one would find him. The goddamn traitor ended up driving into New York to go to some fancy restaurant. So now Steve was ignoring Bucky who was trying hard to get Steve into a conversation by saying.

“Please Steve, I want to treat you, don’t get pissed at me.” Steve huffed but kept looking out the car window.”

Yeah, Steve was really going to stab Bucky. Bucky ended up parking outside one of the poshest restaurants Steve had ever seen. Steve could feel the money in his wallet screaming at him to run. Steve asked Bucky.

“What are we doing here Buck?” Bucky grinned and replied.

“This is where we are eating tonight.” Steve stared at Bucky for a couple of seconds and said.

“You are kidding me, right?” Bucky shook his head and said.

“No, I said I wanted to treat you, so why not bring you to my favourite restaurant?” Steve rubbed his forehead and said.

“Because the food will cost more than everything I own!” Bucky laughed and said.

“Don’t worry about money for tonight Steve, I’ll look after everything.” Even though Steve wanted to be angry at Bucky because he didn’t need someone to look after him but Steve felt his heart warm at Bucky telling him that he’ll look after Steve for the night. No-one had looked out for Steve since his mother died and Sam went to basic training. Bucky pushed Steve by his shoulder and said.

“Come on Steve, we’ll be late.”  He then said.

“I promise you, you won’t regret this.” Steve really hoped that was going be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I am so sorry that this took me so long!  
> I have just had the worst time of my life these past few months...  
> I had an asthma attack which ended with me being in hospital for a week! Then when I got out of hospital I got a really bad cold which ended up with me being bed ridden for a couple of days and then I fell over and dislocated my wrist! So I haven't been able to type as fast as I can with two working wrists ;_;  
> I am so sorry that this took me so long to get out, i hope you guys can forgive me!  
> Can I just say thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and views on this! It really does give me the will power to carry on writing this :D  
> Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I just suck  
> Thank you for reading and again sorry <3


	11. Chapter 11

Steve was going to kill Bucky because of that idiot Steve was now somewhere in New York on his own and freezing. The date hadn't gone how it should have and now Steve was the one who was suffering because of Bucky being an idiot.

The date had been going great until Bucky started flirting with the waitress who was taking their orders and it shouldn't have hurt Steve's feelings as much as it did because Steve was only on this date to shut Bucky up but from then on things just kept on getting worse. Bucky was the worst person to go out on a date with, he didn't stop flirting with the staff who came around female or male and he was on his phone constantly, which Steve wouldn't have minded if Bucky would fucking speak to him! So Steve decided about an hour in that this was a waste of his time and he was going to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. Well that didn't end up what happened they ended up arguing when Steve said he wanted to leave and Bucky said they had only started eating and Steve kind of just blanked out the idiots voice because the next thing he did was grab his water and pour it over Bucky's head "you truly are a massive douche." And that is how Steve is now freezing to death in New York with no way of getting back home because he wasn't going to tell Bucky where the hell he was.

Steve ended up ringing Natasha because he really didn't have any other friends who could drive, it only took the phone three rings before Natasha answered "Bucky's already rang me, he's pissed at you but I'm guessing you have a reason..." Steve huffed "the dick wouldn't stop flirting with the staff... I know I'm not that best looking but it still hurt me..." Steve heard Natasha mumble something under her breathe but Steve was too cold to trying and figure out what she mumbled "can you come pick me up.. I don't have any other way of getting back... And I'm getting really cold." Natasha agreed to pick Steve up so Steve told her what street he was on.

Natasha looked pissed when Steve got into the car "you okay there Steve?" Steve smiled "right now yeah, probably won't be in the morning though..." Natasha sighed "I'm going to beat the life outta him Steve, he's a goddamn idiot and he can't even see that he's done anything wrong." Steve shrugged "it doesn't matter, I'll just go back to ignoring him like I should have from the beginning, he's a mafia boss we were never going to get along." Natasha smiled "let's get you back home, Clint's waiting outside your house making sure that there's no Bucky around, he shouldn't have hurt you like that Steve." Steve shrugged "it doesn't matter." It did matter though because Steve's heart was hurting and he felt like crying but he wasn't about to do that so he just laid his head on the window and watched the lights of New York go past them.

True to her words Clint was standing outside Steve's door "um thanks for watching out..." Clint grinned "don't worry man, I like you so why not make sure your all good." Steve smiled back, he liked Clint, Clint wasn't like the rest of them even though he worked for SHEILD and probably had his dark secrets. Steve could see why Clint and Natasha would be so close to each other they were both so different from each other but they were also so close because of that.  
Clint and Natasha ended up staying for a couple of hours making sure that Steve was fine and wasn't about to die from being out in the cold of winter, but Steve started to get annoyed and told them two of them that he would be fine and if he wasn't he'd ring them.

Steve didn't actually feel as bad as he thought he would the next day, he had a sore throat and a cough but nothing that he would have to get worried about and that was great because that meant he could still go out for the day with Sam and not get Sam all worried with him being sick. 

When Steve finally got to Sam's hotel he felt like he was going to pass out his sore throat wasn't letting him get enough air in and Steve was starting to suspect he was getting a chest infection which was no fun because that would mean spending money on antibiotics so he didn't get worse, but Sam kept his mouth shut and Steve was thankful for that because he really didn't want to have Sam worrying over him when they were supposed to be having fun.

Well they were both having fun until Steve saw Bucky, Natasha and Clint the other side of the road to Sam and Steve, Steve was still bitter at Bucky so he grabbed Sam by his coat and pulled him down "there's a guy on the other side of the street, he's a douche bag who made me feel like shit, make him jealous." Steve knows that he was acting like a little kid but he wanted to make Bucky feel like shit for pay back Sam gave him and look which said 'what the hell has he done?' so Steve ended up telling Sam what happened last night and what Steve hadn't expected was for Sam to kiss him, it wasn't like it was something passionate it was more like a friendly kiss which Steve was again glad about because he would sink into the ground if Sam had tried anything else. Steve then glanced back to where the three of them were and saw Bucky with his arms crossed glaring at the two of them but Steve decided to ignore that and wave at Natasha and Clint who had very amused looks on their faces.

After that incident Steve and Sam spent the rest of the day just talking about what they had been doing since the last time they met. Steve decided not to tell Sam about Bucky and the whole mafia thing because Sam would probably drag Steve back to DC with him. Sam had offered for Steve to spend the night in the hotel with him so Steve wouldn't be in the shit hole which is his house, but Steve couldn't do that to Sam because he knew how bad Sam slept when there were other people around but Sam wouldn't hear it when Steve said he could walk himself home so Sam ended up walking him back to his apartment "let's meet up for breakfast tomorrow before I leave for DC again." Steve smiled "sounds good to me, we'll go to that small cafe again, 7 alright for you?" Sam smiled "yeah that all sounds good to me, see you in the morning" Steve said his goodbyes to Sam and went into his apartment.

Steve expected for everything to be fine for the rest of the night, he'd booked an doctors appointment for tomorrow afternoon to see if it was a chest infection or not but things were never that simple in the life of Steven Grant Rogers because Steve got a message from Natasha saying 'Bucky's coming around and he is pissed, don't mess him around Steve try and keep your mouth shut whilst he's like this, also oh man that revenge on Bucky was great, I'm so happy you did that, Clint's still laughing about it.' Steve decided to ignore the stuff about Bucky and message Natasha back 'your with Clint so late at night, something going on between you two.' All Steve got back in reply was 'shut up'.

When the bang to Steve's door finally came Steve opened up his door and Bucky just pushed past him into his living room "well good evening to you too Buck." Bucky just glared at Steve and it really was intimidating when Bucky glared "can I hel-" Bucky then cut Steve off "who the hell was that guy?" Steve rolled his eyes "none of your goddamn business." Steve wasn't about to tell Bucky that Sam was a friend when Steve wanted to get some revenge back on the idiot.  
The argument went on for longer that Steve would have liked since he was pretty sure his neighbours had probably phoned the police about a noise complaint but Steve had been too heated to think about anyone else in that moment because all he wanted to do was hurt Bucky in anyway which ended up with Steve taking a swing at Bucky's face which then ended up with Bucky taking a punch to the face and Steve being slammed against a wall. The wall shook with the impact and it actually hurt Steve when his back connected with the wall.

Steve was about to scream and shout at Bucky but Bucky said before Steve could get a word in "shut the fuck up, I'm pissed as it is don't make things worse for yourself." Steve glared at Bucky "and how will I make things worse for myself? You was the one who was a dick last night, you made me feel like absolute shit! You know you're not supposed to flirt with the staff when on a date with someone?" Bucky lifted his eyebrow up "I wasn't flirt-" "I swear to god if you finish that sentence Buck I will break your goddamn nose!" And Bucky actually listened and kept his mouth shut whilst Steve ranted for a few minutes. What shut Steve up was Bucky kissing Steve. Steve had been so into his rant he hadn't seen Bucky moving his face closer and closer until they were already kissing. Steve didn't push Bucky away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God I am so sorry this took me so long to get out! My laptop died on me and I had to get it fixed which took for like forever! And then when I got it back I got really sick again  
> School's been fucking me up the arse again and making me want to jump off a bridge  
> I tried to make this chapter longer but meh...  
> Also Bucky is a dick man  
> Welp I don't think I need to write anything else.......  
> I hope you enjoy and sorry for any mistakes


	12. Chapter 12

Well Steve let the kiss carry on until he came back to his senses and remembered he was pissed at Bucky. So Steve pushed Bucky away “you can't think I’ll forgive you just because you kissed me?” And Bucky sighed which pissed Steve off because it seemed like Bucky was playing the victim even though he was the one why all this shit was happening. But when Bucky didn't move or say anything Steve decided that he wasn't going to entertain Bucky “you can leave now Bucky, it's late and I am meeting up with a friend tomorrow.” Right after that Bucky looked up at Steve “I fucked up bad didn't I?” Steve smiled and he felt sorry for Bucky even though he had every right to be pissed at Bucky “I'm just angry at the moment with you Buck. Give me a week to calm down and I'm sure we can speak again.” Because if Steve has to be honest he didn't want to have to stop speaking to Bucky. 

The hands that where each side of Steve’s head finally moved and Bucky smiled back at Steve “whilst your being angry at me and all be safe, I can't always protect you and that scares me.” Steve nodded his head “yeah, I’ll try my hardest but I can't promise you anything.” Then Bucky started to make his way to the door to leave “oh and Bucky same to you, don't do anything dumb please. Bucky smiled “I’ll try my hardest.” And then Bucky was opening the front door and leaving. 

When the door was finally shit Steve felt sad and he had no idea why because Bucky deserves Steve’s anger, but Bucky just looked so sad as he walked out the door and for some reason that really made Steve hurt as well. Looking at the grimey clock hanging from his wall Steve saw that it was already 11pm and he should probably go to sleep soon if he wanted to even be talk able early in the morning when he and Sam where going to meet up. 

When Steve finally woke up at 5am he felt like shit but knowing he had a doctors appointment in the afternoon Steve decided to skip taking medication and jumped straight into the shower. Once Steve was done have a long shower which helped his aching muscles it was 5:20 so Steve decided to get changed and to watch the news until he had to walk to couple of blocks to the café where he would meet Sam for a last chat before Sam went back to DC. 

Nothing exciting was on the news, some guy saved a cat from a tree and a load of people complaining on how bad Brooklyn is to live in and how back in the day Brooklyn was the place to be. Once the news was over it was time for Steve to start walking to the café because he was going to take a slow walk because anything faster than slow Steve was sure would kill him.

Steve was early to the café so he sat down in one of the stalls which was next to the window and waited for Sam to finally come. And right on time Sam walked through the doors and say opposite Steve. “Hey man, you been waiting long?” Steve smiled and shook his head “nah only been here a couple of minutes, the service girl hasn't even noticed me yet, which Steve couldn’t blame her she had probably been working hours and was about to drop dead on her feet. 

They both ordered their foods and drinks and started talking about everything and nothing. Steve asked how DC was again and Sam asked how the art business was going which Steve didn’t mention was probably going to be the death of him. But then the question that Steve didn't want to be asked came up. “So you gonna tell me what happened yesterday?” Steve sighed and messed up his already messy hair “well you see the guy with the long hair I went on a date with-“ Sam then cut Steve off “hey that's good man, it's good to hear you are trying to get back into the dating scene.” Steve chuckled “I'm not it was just a one of and reminded me of why I never want to date again because it was awful Sam. Fuck he flirted with everyone that wasn't me and I got so angry I poured my water all over him.” Sam laughed out loud “usually I'd tell you that violence is never the best way but really fuck that guy because anyone who would do that to you is clearly an idiot. Steve blushed and looked down “shut the hell up Sam.” 

After the chat they carried on with their usual banter and before Steve knew it they had eaten all their food and Sam needed to get a taxi to get to the airport on time because e really couldn’t miss his plane like he did the last time he came down to Brooklyn.

Before Sam got into the taxi Steve hugged Sam “be careful and don't do anything that I wouldn't do.” Sam laughed and slapped Steve on the back “same to you man, remember you can ring me whenever you need me, you know I’ll always answer for you.” She grinned and said “right back at ya.” And then Sam was getting into his taxi and Steve was waving him goodbye,

After Steve got back to his apartment he decided to have a nap before he had to go for his doctors appointment so he turned on his alarm clock and dropped onto his mattress like a sack of potatoes. Being social was tiring and hard. 

Well everything went swell at the doctors, yes he had a chest infection and yes he would need antibiotics if he didn't want to die. And when he was walking home Steve had to admit that the day hadn't been too bad and he had had no contact with Bucky so it was a bonus.

Steve decided to take a short cut through an alleyway because it cut off a few minutes to his house and it was daylight so Steve felt fine walking through the alleyway.

Really Steve should have known that nothing good comes from walking through the alleyways of Brooklyn, New York because before Steve knew anything a crowbar was going to the back of his head and he passed out.

When Steve woke up he was sat in a chair with his hands behind the chair in rope and there was a man standing in front of him with a smile on his face “hello, I'm Brock Rumlow and we need to have a little chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no reason to why this took so long to come out. I just fell out of love with it and I've only just come back to it and been able to write something for this.  
> I am sorry and it is totally my own fault and I won't blame you all of you shout at me...  
> But I think I'm back to writing this because it is a fic that I've always liked writing.  
> At least now I've finally finished college ayyy  
> Also sorry for any mistakes I write this on my mobile at 1am cause I couldn't sleep, I hope you enjoy


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, vomit and the breaking of fingers.  
> Just lots of Steve in pain

To say that Steve was pissed was an understatement. He had been kidnapped! How he had been kidnapped Steve couldn’t remember but from the throbbing pain in the back of his head Steve made an educated guess that he'd been struck on the back of the head.

The man in front him was scarred every where from what Steve could see, it looked like he was a burn victim and that made Steve feel some sympathy for the guy because Steve couldn’t imagine being burnt. Well Steve felt sort for him until he started to speak again.

“Right so here's how today is going to go, either you are going to tell me everything you know about SHEILD and its boss or I am going to break every finger of yours so you can never draw again.” Steve felt his heart stop and bile come up his throat but he swallowed down the bile because he would not seem weak in front of this guy.

The guy who called himself Brock moved closer, Steve flinches but Brock just laughed and carried on walking until he stood near Steve’s right hand and he tapped one of Steve’s fingers “so tell me Steve what do you know about SHEILD? And please be honest I really don’t want to break those pretty fingers of yours.” Steve could tell from the sick smile on Brock’s face that Brock really was looking forward to hurting Steve.

“How do you know The Winter Soldier?” If this guy was going to ask him questions about a mob group he's not even in Steve is pretty sure he is fucked, “I saved him one night when he got stabbed in an alleyway, I have nothing to do with SHIELD!” Brock hummed “how about Black Widow?” Steve agin felt his heart stop, this man wasn't going to believe him, he's never going to be able to draw again “I met her when I found out who Bu- Winter Solider was, I ran out and he got her to look for me and to make sure I got home safely!” Steve tried to move away when Brock grabbed his middle finger on his right hand “now when did you get involved with SHIELD?” Steve felt panic rise up in him and his heart to jack hammer in his chest, whatever Steve said wasn't going to be good for him “I’m not involved with SHIELD! They just wouldn't leave me alone once I helped the Winter Soldier.” Brock put more pressure on his middle finger and hummed like he was thinking “I don't think I believe you. SHIELD won't just get involved with someone just for the hell of it, now tell me the truth.” Steve felt his lungs start to squeeze “I'm telling the truth I have nothing to do with th-“ Steve then let out a blood curdling scream as Brock snapped his middle finger.

Letting his body sag Steve tried to get as much air into his lungs as he could, he couldn't have an asthma attack here or he would die because Steve was pretty sure that the sadistic fuck grinning in front of him wouldn't try and make him breath. The pain from his now broken middle finger was making Steve want to vomit and when he finally lifted his head up the room was spinning and Steve had to look up at the ceiling and blink until the spinning went away. Once Steve had finally been able to sort himself out Brock said “well hello again, you really haven't been trained well by SHIELD have you?” Steve grit his teeth but he wouldn't say anything because he was pretty sure whatever he said would be bad and could make this psychopath snap and break all his fingers in one go.

Steve knew from the moment he met Bucky that nothing good would come from it. Because now he had three broken fingers and vomit all over his clothes. At this moment Steve really wished now he knew something about SHIELD because if it could have saved his fingers he would have told that bastard everything because Steve is terrified that he will never be able to draw again and if that happened then Steve’s life was pretty much over.

Tilting his head back Steve let out a loud breath and made a fist with his hand with no injuries. The ceiling was full of damp so Steve guessed he was in the old part of Brooklyn which wasn't run by SHIELD. Really Steve was trying to think of anything which wasn't the pain in his right hand. He wasn't some damsel in distress but at the moment he was wishing for Bucky to become some kind of superhero and to smash through the windows and to kick the arses of the dicks that were doing this to him and to get him to a hospital because Steve was sure that he was going to pass out soon and who the hell knows what will happen to him after. 

Hearing foot steps coming down the hallway again Steve let out a loud breathe and kept his eyes up onto the roof but it wasn't Brock it was Tony.. Why was the guy who owned a club. “They’ve really done a number on you, don't worry though I’ll get you out of here.” Steve blinked, he really didn't understand what Tony had just said to him “how did you find me?” Tony scoffed “I am a genius do you not think that I would add some device into your phone so I could find out where you are. Winter Soldier is fond of you and that means that bad guys like the guy who just did the whole thing with you fingers.” Steve nodded “right, can you get me out and get me to the closest hospital.

After Tony got him out the chair Steve's legs gave out on him and Tony had to grab him and carry him out. Steve was so out of it he couldn't even ask why no one was coming after the two of them and also on that note, how the hell did Tony get in in the first place without being shot at. 

Steve laid his head on Tony's shoulder and said “thank you.” And then he passed out.

The next time he woke up he was laying in a hospital bed in a room which was way to posh for the insurance he was on and Natasha was sitting on the red chair with her feet up on the bed reading a book with a title in some language he couldn't make out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this chapter, it hurt me writing it because I hate putting Steve through pain but I needed to be able to get hydra involved 
> 
> So who's ready for pissed Bucky on a murder mission? 
> 
> Also thank you for reading this and the nice comments that ya'll gave me on the last chapters and sorry for any mistakes, this was written on my mobile and I'm dumb and suck.
> 
> Thanks :D


	14. Chapter 14

“Shit.” This caused Natasha to look up from her book, “oh you’re awake now. How are you feeling?” Steve just glared at Natasha, what a stupid question to ask him of course he wasn’t okay. Natasha chuckled when she saw that Steve was glaring at her “yeah I know it’s a stupid question to ask but the doc and everyone who comes into this room is going to ask the question so you might as well get used to answering it. Steve sighed and pushed himself up the bed “yeah m’ good, thirsty though.” Natasha nodded and poured Steve a glass of water with a straw in it. “By the way Bucky is on his way to destroy Rumlow.” And she said that just as Steve was taking a big gulp of the drink causing Steve to choke on the water “What Bucky knows? Aw shit.” Natasha chuckled “of course Bucky knows do you think Tony would be able to keep a secret that big from anyone.” Steve shrugged “I only know Tony by working with him that one day, who the hell is he?” Natasha leaned back on the chair “one of us.” Steve nodded and decided that he wouldn’t ask any more questions mostly because he was in pain and couldn’t care less at the moment to try and pry more information out of Natasha about Tony. “Call the doc please because I need some good hard pain killers. Natasha nodded and got out the chair “I’ll go and get him now, you just wait and chill.

One Natasha was gone Steve felt himself start to break down. What the hell was his life? He looked down at his right hand and saw his now three broken fingers which were all in plaster and let out a sob, he must have been a really bad person in his last life to deserve this much punishment from the world. Steve was getting more and more upset with every passing minute and before Steve knew what was happening his lungs started to tighten. Wasn’t that just the cherry on top of this shit cake, an asthma attack at least this time it was in a hospital. 

Steve leaned forward and put his left hand on his chest as he started to wheeze, you see the thing with Steve’s asthma attacks they were a vicious cycle, you see once he started having an asthma attack his body would bring him into a panic attack which cause even less oxygen to enter as he started to hyperventilate. The alarm from the machine which tracked his breathing started to blare out causing Steve to panic even more due to his state of not knowing what the fuck was going on outside of trying to breathe again  
It felt like hours that Steve was trying to get his breathe back forever when in reality it must have only been a couple minutes when Natasha and the doctor came running into the room. It was the doctor he’d met before when he’s cracked his head open. Natasha removed the cushions from the bed and pushed Steve by his chest so he was laying flat on his back and Bruce bought an oxygen mask over his face. As Bruce was running around and looking for all the medical equipment he needed Natasha was brushing Steve’s sweaty hair out his face whilst whispering to him in a language that Steve couldn’t recognise at the moment. 

It took Steve around 10 minutes before his breathing started to regulate again. Natasha was still petting his hair and speaking to him in another language and Bruce was standing on the other side of the bed with a clipboard and jotting down all his vitals. Steve went to take the mask off his face, he’d always hated having things around his face but Natasha slapped away his hand “no keep that on for another 10 minutes just to be sure that you aren’t going to have another attack.” Steve nodded he was too tired to fight against Natasha at the moment. “Go back to sleep Steve its okay I’ll watch over you.” So Steve did just that.

When Steve woke up the oxygen mask was still on his face and it wasn’t Natasha in the chair but Clint who was spinning around some drum sticks. Steve wanted to take his mask off but the attack had taken so much energy out of his that he couldn’t even remove the mask so he looked at Clint and pointed to his mask. When Clint finally removed the mask Steve sighed “you’ve really been through hell, huh?” Steve went to speak but his mouth was so dry it was like the Sahara desert so Steve pointed at the water and then came on of the most embarrassing moments of Steve’s life because he was so weak he couldn’t even hold a glass of water so he had to get Clint to hold the glass whilst he took sips of the water.

“Natasha went to go get us all some food, not this shit hospital food, like some proper posh food and don’t worry she’s getting you something which is east to eat, I think she said something about pea soup or some shit, I wasn’t really listening but don’t tell her that she will kill me. Steve chuckled and nodded “is she okay?” Clint smiled “she will be soon, that’s why I’m here she needed to get some fresh air.” Steve looked down at the blanker covering his legs, this was his entire fault, “hey man none of this shit is your fault, you are the victim.” Steve sighed “how do you know I’m blaming myself?” Clint smiled again but this time it seemed sadder “I know that face very well.” But before Steve could ask what Clint meant by that Natasha was walking through the door with two bags in her hands and followed by Tony and another red head.

Natasha put the food on the table which went across the bed and sat next to Clint “you’re awake, are you okay?” Steve nodded “I’m as okay as I am going to be at the moment.” Steve then heard the dragging of another chair; it was Tony dragging the chair to sit on the other side of the bed “how are you finding my hospital room?” It took Steve longer than he would admit for his mind to click that Tony owned this hospital “why does a bar owner have a hospital?” Tony grinned “well you see Steve my name is Tony Stark and you’re not in a hospital you’re in my personal tower.” Steve blinked as he tried to envision Stark Tower but then he remembered it’s the massive tower in the heart of New York, Steve had always hated that tower he thought it was an eye sore. But Steve wouldn’t say anything about how much he hated the building because it was the thing keeping him alive right now. Steve went to ask another question when the other red head started talking “this must all be confusing to you Steve. I’m Pepper Potts, Mr Starks PA. Mr Stark bought you here because he believed you would be able to get greater care from here than a ‘peasants’ hospital.” 

From then Steve signed his signature on way too many forms which Pepper put on the table for him to sign, to be honest he could be selling away his body and he wouldn’t know because he wasn’t reading what he was signing but he believed that Pepper is one of the good guys so he signed them. By the last document Steve’s hand was killing him and all he wanted to do was eat because the pain killers that Bruce had pumped into him where some good quality and all he wanted to do was eat and then sleep until the pain came back. 

Once Pepper and Tony left Steve asked Natasha if she would warm up his soup and then they could both leave because Steve wanted to be on his own for the rest of the night which both Clint and Natasha agreed to due to both of them needing to sleep as well. But before they both left Natasha kissed Steve’s forehead and said “if anything happens through the night, you call me straight away I will be here as soon as I can.” Steve hummed “will do.”  
Steve fell asleep soon after Natasha and Clint but he was awoken a few hours later by hearing someone talking on the phone. Steve felt his heart race thinking it was Rumlow so Steve pushed himself up and was ready to fight but when he saw that it was Bucky Steve let himself sag back down onto the bed “you scared the shit outta me Bucky.” Bucky who was standing next to the window watching the streets on New York turned around and said to whomever he was talking to “I have to go now, ring me if anything new comes up.” He then cancelled the call and turned off his phone.

Once Bucky sat down on the chair Steve got a good look and Bucky’s face and he gasped “what the fuck happened to your face?” Bucky’s face was covered in bruises and he had a band aid going across his nose and butterfly stitches across his eyebrow where there was a massive gash, he also had a bashed up lip which was all swollen and a black eye. Steve knew that this must have happened when he went to confront Rumlow so it made him feel like he was partly to blame in the pain that Bucky must be in at the moment, but Bucky just grinned “don’t worry about my Steve you should see the other guy.” Steve huffed when he saw Bucky wince when he grinned so Steve moved up “get in you loser, you need as much rest as I do.” And Bucky did just that.

Once they were both comfy in the bed. Bucky was laying on his back whilst Steve was on his side with his head on Bucky’s chest. Bucky was playing with Steve’s hair and as Steve started to fall asleep he heard Bucky say “I swear to you Stevie I won’t let anything like this ever happen to you again. We will all protect you now.” Steve smiled as he heard Bucky speak to himself and fell asleep listening to Bucky’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man this chapter ended up being super long and I have no idea why!  
> There's also quiet long paragraphs and I'm sorry about that I know a lot of people don't like long paragraphs but it just ended up that way!
> 
> Btw if you are wondering why I made Steve react that way when he was having his asthma attack it's because that's how my asthma attacks go so I thought I might as well write it the way it happens to myself.
> 
> So guys I was wondering for the next chapter do you want it from the POV of Bucky fight Rumlow or keep in the same POV but with Bucky telling Steve all about his fight with Rumlow. It's your decision because I am happy with doing either :D
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who has been bookmarking, liking and commenting on this fic cause you really do give me the confidence to carry on with this fic even though I suck bad at actually updating it (sorry)
> 
> Well, thank ya'll for reading this chapter and sorry for any mistakes I suck and dumb so I can never do anything properly


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